WHEEL OF FORTUNE
by VN2Lover
Summary: Do you love Naruto Chats? Know your stars? Or just laughing at other peoples' misfortune? Then come here and read where Naruto characters are totured 247 except for my fav, Hinata. R&R!
1. Naruto Online Chat 1

**A/N: ChangeoFHeArtOkay, here's my new story. This story is all about the plots of Naruto fanfiction that a lot of authors do except you know, in my way. So there will be a lot of different Naruto stories in one whole story. Okay, so bring out the wheel. This wheel is going to randomly choose a topic for me to write. Okay, let's roll!!! -wheel spins-**

**... -Stops on Naruto Online Chat- Okay, let's begin the story.**

**Disclaimer: Do not own Naruto.**

**Warning: Could contain some characters you do not know, OOCness, or just bad grammer. Either way, R&R please.**

**Naruto Online Chat **

"MMMmmmmmmm...," said a blonde haired and blue eyed boy as he was slurping some ramen because it just so happened, ramen was his favorite food.

"That was good." said the boy again as he smacked his lips and rubbed his full and happy stomach.

"Okay Naruto, those 20 bowls you ate leads your total to 13,000 yen." said the manager. (A/N: Don't know his name. Just the ramen girl's.)

"No probelm." Naruto said as he reached in his pocket to grab out his froggy wallet only to have a little slip of paper to fall out.

"Huh? What's this?" Naruto questioned as he grabbed the little piece of folded paper.

"Oh yeah, I remember." Naruto said in realization as he drifted back to when he got it.

_Flashback_

_Slurp, slurp slurp. were the noises Naruto made as he was happily eating his ramen._

_"Oi Naruto." said a voice behind him. Naruto turned around to find Shikamaru._

_"The whole rookie nine, Gai's team, and the sand siblings are going to meet in a chatroom at 3:00pm. Here's the slip of paper that tells which chatroom. I trust you already have an account to the chatroom website?" Shikamaru questioned as he handed a slip of paper to Naruto._

_"Mm-hmm." Naruto said as he nodded his head and slipped the paper in his pocket._

_"Seeya." Shikamaru said as he left._

_"Bye! Now back to my ramen." Naruto said as Shikamaru left._

_End Flashback_

"Hey old man, what time is it?" Naruto asked.

"Hmm? Oh, it's 4:00pm." replied the manager.

"WHAT?! OH NO, I'M LATE!!!" screamed Naruto as he ran towards his apartment.

"NARUTO, YOU FORGOT TO- oh forget it." said the manager.

**CRACK!!! BOOM!!! **If you looked outside, you could see a blonde boy in an orange jumpsuit running in the rain, getting completely soaked. Naruto finally reached his apartment as he took off his shoes, changed into some clean _dry _clothes and sat at the computer. Username: ThENEXTH0kg3 Password: (it's-a-secret) **Welcome ThENEXTH0kg3 What Chatroom would you like to enter? **The computer screen said as there was a box, so the user could enter a number of a chatroom. Naruto pulled out his piece of paper to see that the paper was soaked. Naruto opened the paper in hopes of seeing a clear number but instead, a bunch of smudges.

"Oh man, well, maybe I can make out the numbers." Naruto said hopefully as he squinted at the paper.

"Okay, the first number looks like a 3..or maybe it's a 6? I'm going to go with 3. Okay, next number, it's either a 1 or a 7. I think it's a 1. Hmmm...next number looks like a..." This went on for awhile so I'm just going to skip and let you know what he got.

"Okay, chatroom # 314." Naruto said as he typed in the number to have a screen appear that indicated it was chatroom # 314.

**Chatroom 314**

**SpiritSwordsman002: Man, I can't believe u ditched Keiko again. Ur her boyfriend. You're SUPPOSE 2 go on d8s with her.**

**#1SpiritFighter: Hey. Don't start lecturing me. Besides, d8ing isn't really my thing.**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: Hello? Sakura? Sasuke?**

**#1SpiritFighter: No, my name's Yusuke. (A/N: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho.)**

**SpiritSwordsman002: I'm Kuwabara. Who're u and what r u doing here?**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: My name's Naruto, the nxt hokage. BELIEVE IT!! And I'm looking 4 my friends.**

**SpiritSwordsman002: Didn't your friends tell u which chatroom they were in?**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: About that, 1 of my friends gave me a slip of paper with the chatroom # that they were in but I lost track of time so I had 2 run 2 my house and it started to rain and well the rest explains it by itself.**

**#1SpiritFighter: Rough.**

**SpiritSwordsman002: That's 2 bad.**

**#1SpiritFighter: While you're here, do u like 2 fight?**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: u bet.**

**#1SpiritFighter: Tell us of 1 of your fights.**

**-a few minutes later-**

**#1SpiritFighter: HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAH **

**SpiritSwordsman002: LOL You seriously did that?**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: Yep. **

**#1SpiritFighter: So what happened after u farted in his face?**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: I duplicated myself into 5 me's. I had 3 of them kick Kiba up. Then 1 of them I had bent over so I could jump on that 1 so I could use my heel to kick his head into the pavement. That's how I won.**

**#1SpiritFighter: I have got to try that.**

**SpiritSwordsman002: The farting or the kick?**

**#1SpiritFighter: Hmmm...both I guess. But who 2 try it on?**

**SpiritSwordsman002: Oh, do it on Hiei. I would love 2 c his reaction.**

**#1SpiritFighter: Sure, I'm going to challenge him to a fight right now.**

**SpiritSwordsman002: I'm going to bring a video camera.**

**RedRoseFox: Hello you two. Who's The Next Hokage?**

**#1SpiritFighter: Hey Kurama. That's Naruto. He's lost.**

**SpiritSwordsman002: Yeah, his paper telling him where 2 go got soaked so now he can't find his friends.**

**RedRoseFox: I see. Naruto, why not give one of your friends a call to get the number.**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: I haven't thought about that. Thanks!!! Bye!!!**

Naruto got off the computer and on the telephone to contact his friend. **RING RING** Sasuke went to pick up his phone.

"Hn." Sasuke answered.

"Hey Sasuke, it's me. Naruto." Naruto said.

"Where are you? It's already been an -scchree-(you know the sound the phone makes when it sounds like you're breaking up.) dobe." said Sasuke.

"Sasuke, I think we're -sccchree- up because of the -schrreee-. Never mind, what's the number for the -schree-?" Naruto asked.

"You lost the -schreee-? You -schree-ass. Fine, the number is 3 -schreee- -schreeee-even- -schreeee- and 9 -schreee-." said Sasuke.

"What was that? 3, 11, and 9? Naruto asked.

"No. It's -sccchhreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee- -uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn-" Naruto hung the phone seeing how the rain stopped the phone from working.

"Okay Chatroom # 3119." Naruto said as he typed in the number.

**Chatroom #3119**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: Hello? Anyone here?**

**Gum-gum: Hello dum-dum. Do you have any gum-gum? (A/N: I do not own Night At The Museum)**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: I'M NOT A DUM-DUM YOU BASTARD!!!!**

**A.H.: agbewongobg;ahgiowahgklehgkehslghsehngk;she**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: Who's that?**

**Gum-gum: It's Atilla the Hun-hun Dum-dum.**

**A.H.:alghaekgh;kabgkhera;kghbekalghklashlkgaghbkeqhtji**

**Nightguard: Hey guys, how's it going?**

**A.H.: alghoaehgoiahng;klabhgkhjna;klghbaklgjla;hgkl**

**Gum-gum: It's going fine my dum-dum.**

**Nightguard: Good to hear. Hey, new guy. Who're you?**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: My name's Naruto, I'm trying to find my friends but my paper telling me where 2 go got soaked.**

**Nightguard: Ooh, tough call. My name's Larry, Gum-gum is an Easter Island Head, and A.H. is Atilla the Hun.**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: How can Gum-gum type?**

**Nightguard: We have a microphone hooked up to the computer so everything he says, gets typed.**

**Gum-gum: My dum-dum, dum-dum should use search bar bar.**

**A.H.: aflhneakhgklaeh;gklljehl'sjgpalhgeroitghoagnapgheawgohgh;lshgl;sh;lbhnsl;bh;lk**

**Nightguard: What they said Naruto.**

**ThENEXTH0kg3?????????????????????????????????????????????**

**Nightguard: They said that you should use the search bar. You type in a word your friends will probably have in their screenname and the computer will give you a list of chatrooms and you could check them.**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: Hey thanks!!! Bye!!!**

_"Okay, so Sakura's name would probably have something to do with sakura flowers, pink, or maybe Sasuke. Hmmmmm...Sasuke's should either be conceited or has something to do with being an avenger. Hmmmmmm...Neji's obsessed with destiny even after that fight so maybe I should type in destiny." _Naruto thought as he typed in the word 'destiny' into the search bar and pushed enter. So far only one chatroom appeared. Chatroom # 8547 Naruto clicked on that chatroom.

**Chatroom #8547**

**WeHaveBeenDestined4This: Kaiba, I have told you from time to time that you cannot defeat me because destiny will choose me as the winner. We all know that destiny chooses who wins and who loses. It controls are very lives. And- (A/N: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh)**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: Hello?**

**BlueEyesWhiteDragon: Thank you. You saved me from having to listen to another one of Yugi's destiny speeches. I swore if I heard destiny one more time. There was going to be a blood bath.**

**WeHaveBeenDestined4This: Oh come now, I don't say destiny all the time.**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: I have a friend who's obsessed w/ destiny. Maybe I could introduce u 2.**

**BlueEyesWhiteDragon: If your friend says destiny every two seconds then Yugi and him will get along great.**

**WeHaveBeenDestined4This: As I said, I don't talk about destiny all the time.**

**BlueEyesWhiteDragon: If I had a dime for everytime you said destiny, I'd be even richer.**

**WeHaveBeenDestined4This: Fine then, everytime I say destiny, I'm going to give you a dime.**

**BlueEyesWhiteDragon: You should make it a penny. After all, you don't want to go broke now.**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: LOL Anyway, my friend's name is Neji. I'll introduce u 2 if I can find my friends. Later!**

**BlueEyesWhiteDragon: There are 10000 chatrooms. Do you even think he can find his friends?**

**WeHaveBeenDestined4This: I'm sure the bonds between him and his friends are strong, their friendship bonds and destiny will bring them together.**

**BlueEyesWhiteDragon: You owe me a dime.**

**WeHaveBeenDestined4This: Crap, I'll give it to you tomorrow.**

So, Naruto began his search, using all the knowledge he had about his friends in hopes of finding them. (Cue searching music)

**ThePinkHairedVoiceofReason: Sorry, I'm not this girl called Sakura. You should try somewhere else.**

**PinkHattedBoy: Wanda!!! Cosmo brought my homework to life so it will do itself but the homework is evil!!!**

**Donuts!!!!: EEEVVVVVVILLLLLLLLLL!!!! BARNACLE-BOY!!! WE MUST STOP THE EVIL!!!!! EEEVVVIIILLLLL!!!!!**

**PinkHattedBoy: 0.0**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: 0.0**

**ThePinkHairedVoiceofReason: 0.0 Eeeerrrr, I'll be right there sweetie.**

**(A/N: I do not own Fairly Odd Parents)**

Naruto tried again.

**ILoveFood: No, I'm not this person called Chouji.**

**ILoveWomen: And I'm not this Kakashi or Jiraiya person.**

**(A/N: I do not own One Piece.)**

And again.

**Boy-Genius: No, I am not this person you call Neji or Sasuke. I am Dexter, boy genius. Do not touch that button Dee-dee. Dee-dee!!! **

**-NO ONE IS IN THIS CHATROOM AT THIS PARTICULAR MOMENT- (A/N: I do not own Dexter's Laboratory) **

was what the screen said on Naruto's computer as he tried one more time again and again and you get the picture.

"Okay, last chatroom." Naruto said as he clicked the final and last chatroom he hadn't checked ever since he was searching for 4 straight hours.

**Chatroom #3759**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: Hello? Please let someone be here.**

**Sotrublzum: Eh? Naruto? Where were you?**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: Shikamaru? SHIKAMARU!!! YES, YES, I FINALLY HAVE THE RIGHT CHATROOM!!!! The paper you gave me was soaked.**

**Sotrublzum: That sounds troublesome.**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: You bet it was. Wait, where is everyone else? The only people I c in this chatroom r me and u.**

**Sotrublzum: Hmm? Oh yeah. Everyone talked on here only because it looked like it was raining which it did. But now it's not so everyone logged off which I was going to do now. Later.**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: okay bye shikamaru**

If you were in a 50 mile radius of Konoha, you could've heard a loud "WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

**THE END**

**A/N: Okay, that's Naruto Online Chat. I'm going to do other different stories and when I'm done, you could send me a review of which you liked best and would like me to continue or to tell me how I could improve my writing. Hope you liked the first one and R&R Please!!! **

**-Who was Who?-**

**ThENEXTH0kg3: Naruto from Naruto**

**Sotrublzum: Shikamaru from Naruto**

**Boy-Genius: Dexter from Dexter's Laboratory**

**ILoveFood: Luffy from One Piece**

**ILoveWomen: Sanji from One Piece**

**ThePinkHairedVoiceofReason: Wanda from Fairly Odd Parents**

**PinkHattedBoy: Timmy from Fairly Odd Parents**

**WeHaveBeenDestined4This: Yami from Yu-Gi-Oh**

**BlueEyesWhiteDragon: Kaiba from Yu-Gi-Oh**

**Nightguard: Larry from Night At The Museum**

**Gum-gum: The Easter Island Head from Night At The Museum**

**A.H.: The Atilla the Hun from Night At The Museum**

**RedRoseFox: Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho**

**SpiritSwordsman002: Kuwabara from Yu Yu Hakusho**

**#1SpiritFighter: Yusuke from Yu Yu Hakusho**

**Donuts!!!!: Mermaid-Man from SpongeBob Squarepants**

**I believe that's all I need to say. My fingers hurt. Hope you like it and R&R Please!!!! PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ !!!!**


	2. Stuck! 1

**A/N: Okay, since I did a Naruto Online Chat, this means I don't have to do another one unless you want me to. Now to spin the wheel again. -spins wheel-...-stops on Naruto Char. Stuck In TV- okay, here I go. Hope you like it. R&R PLZ PLZ PLZ!!!!**

**Warning: OOCness and bad grammer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything else on this story, just the story.**

_'thoughts'_

_television_

"talking"

**STUCK!**

_KIDS NEXT DOOR, BATTLE STATIONS!!!!_

-click-

_I would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling-_

-click-

_And so, the day was saved, thanks to the-_

-click-

_Previously, on All My Ninjas..._

-click-

If any of you didn't get what all those sounds were, they were the sounds of a demon-vessel loudmouth flipping through the channels on his television. If you were actually IN his apartment, you would see an incredibly messy apartment with tons of empty ramen cups and milk cartons spewed across the room and the boy of the apartment would probably yell, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY APARTMENT!!!!! BELIEVE IT!!!!". If you went in the living room, you could see a blonde blue eyed boy in nothing but a black shirt and some green with orange chicken feet print boxers laying on a couch with a remote in hand in front of the television. You could say that the blonde never left his house in a couple of days.

**SCENE CHANGE**

"If you give an idiot a television, he's going to be obsessed with it. When he's f-ing obsessed with it, he's going to miss out on a couple of training days. Those absences will cause the teachers to frikin' worry about him. If they're worried about him, they'll send a stupid search party." A raven haired boy hissed angrily as he stomped with a few kids around his age in tow. "It is quite unyouthful for Naruto-kun to miss the youthful day where all of his youthful friends will be training together." said a green clad lad with a bowl hair cut and big black eyebrows. "I'm pretty sure Naruto-kun has a good reason." a timid girl with short light navy hair and lavender eyes said gently as she was with the group.

"Hn." a boy with the same eyes except with long flowing majestic brown hair, that one would say he was obsessed with it, said disagreeingly as he too was part of the group. Once the group reached an apartment door, the girl in the group whose name is Hinata started to knock softly on the door. -knock...knock...knock...- Hinata was about to knock a 4th time had it not been a red haired boy with dark rings around his eyes to pick her up and carry her away from the door. Once he placed her, he turned towards the door and raised his hand. "Desert Coffin." the red haired boy said icily as sand was summoned from his back to crush the used-to-be door in front of him.

The group entered the room to find their friend Naruto. "Oi Dobe, you've been absent for 5 days now. The teachers had to make us come get you," said the raven haired boy named Sasuke as the group stood in front of him. "...Huh?...oh hey Hinata, Sasuke, Neji, Gaara, and Lee. You guys want to join me?" Naruto said as he finally noticed the group in front of him. "No Naruto-kun, we're here take you away from the television. It's been causing you to miss a few days of training." Hinata said. "...ACK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE COPPERS!!!" Naruto screamed as he jumped on his couch defensively as he comprehended what they were doing in his apartment. "GRAB HIM!!!" Sasuke yelled as he, Neji, Gaara's sand, and Lee jumped towards him. '_Weren't we here to reason with Naruto-kun?' _Hinata thought as she saw the five boys wrestle on the floor. Little did the five shinobis and the one kunoichi know, a brown eyed girl with black hair was watching from a tree. Which was weird seeing how this girl was afraid of heights. "NOW you tell me narrator!!!" the girl shouted as she grabbed on the tree for dear life when the narrator reminded the girl of her phobia.

**AFTER THE STRUGGLE**

"Weren't we suppose to use reason and persuasion to get Naruto to stop watching television?" Hinata asked as Sasuke carried the unconcious Naruto on his back. "We did use those. The punches to his head were 'reason' and the kicks we gave on his butt were 'persuasion'." Sasuke replied. "Come on, let's get out of here." Gaara said as the group was starting to walk out the door.

**AT THE TREE**

Ox, Rabbit, Dog, Dragon, Monkey, Dog, Ram, Tiger, Rat GO LAME-PLOT-NO-JUTSU!!!!

**NARUTO'S APARTMENT**

"Did you hear some-" Lee started until a blinding flash caused them to shield their eyes.

**ZAP!!!!!** Everything went black.

_Chakra..._

_Sand..._

_And kunais and shurikens..._

_these were the ingredients chosen to make the perfect ramen, but Naruto Uzumaki accidently added another ingredient into the concoction, Shinobi X..._

_**BAM!!!!**_

_thus, the PowerPuff Girl and boys were born. With their incredible powers, Gaarsom, Hinata, and Sasukecup have dedicated their lives to destroy all humanity, well, Gaarsom and Sasukecup did. "WHAT?! I WANTED RAMEN!!!" Naruto screamed._

_-cue theme music-_

_THE CITY OF TOWNSVILLE!!! A peaceful suburban town which has its own little superheros, THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!!!_

_**PPGab (Power Puff Girl and boys) BEDROOM **_

_"yyyyyyyyaaaaawwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnn" Hinata yawned as she got up to find that she was NOT I REPEAT NOT in her bedroom, or clothes. "How did I get here?! How-" _

_"HEY, keep it down."_

_"Sorr- aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Hinata yelped when she realized someone else was in the bed._

_"HEY, didn't I say- WTF?! WHERE ARE WE?!" Gaarsom screamed as he saw he was not in his room. "That's what I would like to know." Sasukecup said as the others turned to him to see he was in the bed also._

_**BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP**_

_"I'll get it." Sasukecup volunteered as he got out of the bed towards the girly looking phone that seems to make faces depending on the situation in the show. "..." "What?" Sasukecup asked annoyed as Hinata and Gaarsom stared at him. Sasukecup looked down to see a green dress with a big black stripe across it. "WTF???!!!!!" Sasukecup screamed as Hinata giggled and Gaarsom had a smug look plastered on his face. "SHUT UP!!!!" Sasukecup screamed. "What? I'm not a crossdresser." Gaarsom said calmly enjoying the moment of the once great Uchiha being tooken down a peg or two. "Um...Gaara-san. You have on the same thing." Hinata said calmly as she looked under the blankets. "WHAT?!" Gaarsom screamed as he jumped out of the bed to see that Hinata was right except his dress was pink. "Not another word..." Gaarsom warned as he glared at Sasuke whose turn it was now to have a smug look on his face._

_**BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE-**_

_"Hello?" Sasukecup answered. "POWERPUFF GIRLS!!! MOJO-JOJO IS OUTSIDE AT DOWNTOWN!!! YOU'VE GOT TO STOP HIM!!!!" the other line screamed. "You have the wrong number, I'm Sasuke." Sasukecup replied. "Oh, sorry." the other line said as it hung up._

_**MAYOR'S OFFICE**_

_"I got the wrong number Ms. Bellum." the mayor said. "But sir, the only line that phone has is TO the PowerPuff Girls." Ms. Bellum, as always, stated the obvious. "Oh..." _

_**THE PPGab HOME**_

_**SLAM!!!!!**__ Hinata, Gaarsom, and Sasukecup looked to where the noise was to see a very tall Naruto with a white labcoat. "Naruto-kun, do you know what's going on?" Hinata asked. "Sort of..." Naruto said._

_-a few minutes later-_

_"So you're saying that we're stuck in the show, PowerPuff Girls. I'm the tough girl Buttercup, Gaara is the leader, Blossom, and Hinata's the bubbly one, Bubbles. You're the professor and the point of this show is for Gaara, Hinata, and I to save the world?" Sasukecup asked as Naruto explained why they were wearing dresses._

_"Yep." Naruto said. "Do you know how we got here Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked. "No, I all know is that we're trapped in the television being forced to cosplay characters in different shows." Naruto said. _

_"Okay, so what should we do now?" Gaarsom asked. "Gaara? You're seriously asking ME?" Naruto said in shock. "Look, right now, we're in a different dimension- "Televison" Naruto corrected and interrupted. ,shut up, and only Naruto knows what show we're in which could be an advantage. Maybe if we do whoever put us here in the first place's bidding, he or she will let us go." Gaarsom finished. Everyone agreed. "Did Lee-kun or Neji-niisan get involved too?" Hinata asked. The three boys just shrugged. "Okay, in the show, usually that phone rings." Naruto said as he pointed towards the girly looking phone mentioned before._

_"It did ring." Sasukecup said. "What? Then what did the mayor say?" Naruto asked. "Something about Moji-something being at downtown." Sasuke said. "Well, come on let's go save the world and end this show!!!" Naruto yelled confidently as he stood up. "How do you plan to get there?" Gaara said as he looked outside to see the town was very far. "Oh, I'M not going to get there, you guys are!!! Remember? You guys have superpowers. You guys can fly, have superstrength, and other stuff." Naruto said as the PowerPuff Girl and boys looked at each other and tried their superpowers. _

_"Hey!!! I'm flying. I'M FLYING!!!" Hinata said happily as she soared across the room._

_"Hey. I did heat vision. Naruto, this house is going to need a new wall." Sasukecup said._

_"The dresser's fine, it just needs to thaw a bit." Gaarsom said as he stood in front of a frozen solid dresser._

_"Okay you guys, let's head downtown!!!" Naruto said as Sasuke picked him up and they started soaring out of the room. _

_"Naruto, why is there a green beam coming from my butt?"_

_**DOWNTOWN TOWNSVILLE**_

_"Not so fast, Mojo-jojo!!!" Naruto said as he landed with the others. "FOR THE LAST TIME!!! MY NAME'S NEJI!!!!" Nejo-jojo screamed. "Neji-niisan!!" Hinata cried as she ran up to Nejo-jojo and hugged him. "Hinata? Where were you? What are you wearing? More importantly, what are Gaara and Uchiha wearing?" Nejo-jojo said as he stared at Gaarsom and Sasukecup. "I'll explain everything." Naruto said._

_-a few minutes later-_

_"I see. So all you know is that we're stuck." Nejo-jojo said. "MY YOUTHFUL FRIENDS!!!!!" someone yelled as the PPGab, Naruto, and Nejo-jojo stared at where the sound was coming from to see not one but five Lees. "OMG!!! MY WORST NIGHTMARE CAME TRUE!!! IT IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE BECAUSE THE PERSON I FIND THE MOST ANNOYING HAVE BEEN DUPLICATED MAKING THE ANNOYINGNESS TO MULTIPLE BY 5 FOLD!!! I FIND LEE ANNOYING BECAUSE OF HIS WAY OF ALWAYS SMILING WHICH MAKES ME BELIEVE HE DOES NOT KNOW THE TRUE WORLD WHICH MAKES ME BELIEVE HE IS SOFT AND WEAK BUT I KNOW THAT IS NOT TRUE BUT NOW HE'S ANNOYING ME BECAUSE HE ALWAYS HAS MAN HUGS WITH GAI-SENSEI WHICH IS CREEPY!!! I FIND IT CREEPY BECAUSE OF HOW I WAS RAISED BECAUSE IT WAS MY DESTINY TO BE RAISED THAT WAY!! WHEN DESTINY DECIDES SOMETHING, IT CAN NOT BE CHANGED BECAUSE IT HAS ALREADY BEEN DECIDED!!!!" Nejo-jojo screamed a lot._

_'Lee must be the Gang Green Gang. That explains why they're are five of them.' Naruto thought. "Lee-kun or kuns, don't panic, Naruto-kun will explain everything." Hinata said. "There is no need, Lady Hinata, I know that we're all trapped in the PowerPuff Girl show and we're all placed as the original character and it would best to go along." Lee said expertly. "How did you know that?" Sasukecup asked. "I used to watch the PowerPuff Girls when I was young." Lee responded._

_"OOOOOOOkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy..." Naruto, Gaarsom, Sasukecup, Nejo-jojo, and Hinata said._

_THE END_

_EndSong: Fighting crime, trying to save the world, they make it just in time!!!! THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!!!!!_

_Sasukecup/Gaarsom: AND BOYS!!!!_

_**NARUTO'S APARTMENT**_

_"That was a good episode." I said as I held the remote. "Let's see what else is on." I said as I pressed the remote button._

_-click-_

**THE END OF THIS CHAPTER**

**A/N: Oh man, that was long, and all for one episode but I promise they'll be more in the next chapter of the Naruto characters being stuck in the television. I have no idea what else to type. Oh well, R&R PLEASE!!!!**


	3. 20 Ways to Annoy Character 1

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews!! Now to spin the wheel again. -spins wheel-...-stops on Twenty Ways to Make Char. Pissed- here I go. Hope you like it! R&R PLZ PLZ PLZ!!!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto!! **

**ChangeoFHeArt: Okay, so we're going to spin another wheel containing Naruto Character Names so kRaZy can tell you how to toture them. Here goes...-spins wheel-...-lands on ...NEJI!!!!!-**

**Twenty Ways to Piss Off Neji**

1) Whenever he insults someone, say to him

"Roses are Red,

Violets are blue,

I know (insert character name that he insulted) is a (insert gender of character that Neji insulted)

But what the hell are you?"

2) Transform into Hinata, bitch-slap him, then say, "**POW! **You have just been bitch-slapped! You are now my bitch! BOW DOWN!"

3) Everytime he says destiny yell, "If you love destiny so much, marry it!"

4) If he's seems to be losing in a fight yell, "NEJI!!!! TRY TO NAG HIM TO DEATH WITH YOUR DESTINY SPEECHES!!!!"

5) Everytime he has his Byakugan during a fight yell, "NEJI, YOU PERV! QUIT LOOKING THROUGH THEIR CLOTHES!!"

6) When he introduces himself to you say, "THE Neji Hyuuga?" When he says, "So, you've heard of me?" You say, "No."

7) Show him all the stories of him and Lee together!! **( A/N: Hmm...wait a second he might like that! wink )**

8) Point at him and yell, "There goes the whore of Konoha!"

9) When he's shopping and not looking, put pads, lingerie, and condoms in his shopping cart.

10) Stare at his chest and say, "Don't worry, all girls develop at different times."

11) Ask him to prove everything he says. ( Ex: Ask who he is. When he says, "Neji Hyuuga." You say, "Prove it!" )

12) Make farting noises behind his back and then yell, "Neji! Put a cork in it!"

13) Ask Neji for a large sum of money. When he asks, "What's it for?" You say, "There's this booth where they're betting what gender you are; I'm putting it on the girl's side."

14) Tell Neji that if his hands are bigger than his face, he has cancer. If he actually puts his hand near his face to measure, smack his hand so it'll hit his face. Next, RUN!!!!

15) In a large crowd with Neji yell, "No I won't touch you there!"

16) Whenever he takes off his headband, throw darts at his mark.

17) When he gets beat up after a fight, jump in front of him and sing, "U-G-L-Y! YOU AIN'T GOT NO ALIBI! YOU UGLY! HUH? HUH? YOU UGLY! M-A-M-A! ASK ME HOW YOU GOT THAT WAY! YOUR MAMA! YOUR DADDY! YOUR BALD-HEADED GRANNY!!!"

18) Laugh at everything Neji says.

19) Invite him to your home and say, "Make yourself at home by cleaning it!"

20) **Show him this list!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**A/N: Thanks for reading! PLZ clicky that little blue button that says "GO"! If you do I'll give you a cookie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	4. Stuck! 2

**A/N: Okay, back to writing since I'm back. Okay, time to spin the wheel again...-spins wheel-...-stops on Naruto Char. Stuck In TV- Okay, looks like I'm doing another one. Okay, here we go!!!! R&R PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ !!!!!!**

**WARNING: OOCness and bad grammer.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

_narrator or theme song_

talking

thoughts

**STUCK! PART 2**

_Are you ready students?_

_Hai sensei!!!!_

_I can't hear you!!!_

_HAI SENSEI!!!_

_OOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh who lives in Konoha and is optimistic as Lee?_

_NARUTO-KUN!!!_

_Hyper and ramen-obsessed is he._

_NARUTO-KUN!!!!_

_He's a pain in the ears as you all know._

_NARUTO-KUN!!!_

_But always willing to help his friends on the go._

_NARUTO-KUN!!!!_

_Ready?_

_NARUTO-KUN!!!_

_NARUTO-KUN!!!_

_NARUTO-KUN!!!_

_NARUTOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-KKKKKKKKKKUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

HHHHOOOOONNNNKKKKKK!!!! HHHHOOOOONNNNKKKKKK!!!! HHHHOOOOONNNNKKKKKK!!!!

"-yawns- that was a good nap. Where am I? OMG I'M SPONGEBOB!!! COOL, I CAN BREATHE UNDERWATER!!!" Naruto cried out in excitement as he looked at himself.

'Okay, if we're in SpongeBob and I'm SpongeBob, I wonder who the others are?"

**PATRICK'S ROCK**

"WHY THE HELL AM I UNDER A DAMN ROCK??!!!!!" A muffled voice could be heard under the rock.

**BACK TO SPONGEBOB'S PINAPPLE**

"Meow." Naruto looked over his bed to see a snail with pupiless lavendar eyes and a lavendar shell and with Hinata's haircut over the snail's eyes. "Hinata? Oh Hinata, it's you. We're in the show SpongeBob Squarepants, you're Gary the snail, my pet." Naruto said as he picked Hinata the snail up. "Meow?" Hinata questioned. (Translation: Naruto-kun, why is everything getting smaller?) "Hm, for some reason Hinata, even though all you say is meow, I can understand you." Naruto responded. "What do you mean?" Naruto asked to Hinata's question as he looked around to see everything was indeed getting smaller.

"OH NO, WE'RE IN THE NEMATODE EPISODE!!!!" **(A/N: For those who don't watch SpongeBob, it's where SpongeBob's house gets eaten by nematodes.) **Naruto screamed as he grabbed Hinata and ran for the door only for it to be too late. Naruto's pinapple was completely gone. "AW MAN!!! MY HOUSE IS GONE, BELIEVE IT!!!" Naruto screamed as the nematodes went away for another snack or drink.

"Naruto?! I recognize your lame catchphrase anywhere." A squid with Sasuke's haircut came out of the gigantic head. "Sasuke? There you are. Okay, so I'm SpongeBob, Hinata's Gary, and you're Squidward, the grumpy character of the show." Naruto said as he looked at his friends. 'I hope no one is Sandy. She's the only character on the show that CAN'T breathe underwater. Oh well, maybe there's nothing to worry about. Afterall, the rest are guys not girls.' Naruto thought.

**SCENE CHANGE**

'It seems we're still in the television. I hope my youthful friends are not in danger.' thought a red crab as he looked at his surroundings. 'Is that Neji?' the red crab named Lee said as he squinted off in the distance. "IT IS HIM!! NEJI, MY YOUTHFUL RIVAL!!! I FOUND YOU!!!" Lee cried as he raced towards the brown creature. "Neji? What is wrong? Are you playing a youthful game? Are you playing the youthful and famous charades? OKAY!!! I shall play with you. Okay, you seem to be choking? No no no wait, something in your throat? Your tongue, vomit, teeth? Okay, you're turning blue, are you a blueberry? Oh wait, now you're turning red. You're embarassed? Sun-burned? You're a cherry? Strawberry? WAIT YOU'RE ANGRY!!! Okay, you're angry. You're an angry person? You are going to hit someone!!!" Lee shouted as Neji was raising up his fist.

**BACK TO NARUTO, SASUWARD, AND HINATA**

"Okay, Naruto, you're the tv obsessed couch potato. What do we do now?" Sasuward asked. "Okay, in the nematode episode, SpongeBob's house got eaten by nematodes. I'm suppose to cry on this seed to bring back my house." Naruto said as everyone started to look for the seed. "Meow." Hinata said as she picked up a small brown pebble-like seed. "Good job, Hinata." Naruto said as he took the pebble and burried it. "Okay, now all I have to do is cry on this spot." Naruto said. "Well, start crying." Sasuward said.

**LET'S CHECK ON LEE AND NEJI**

"Neji, all you had to say was that you couldn't breathe." a heavily wounded crab said as he walked along a brown squirrel with a pickle jar over his/her head. "Shut up Lee. I'm going to use my byakugan to locate the others." Neji replied as he/she performed some hand seals. "BYAKUGAN!!!...BYAKUGAN!!!...our powers seems to be unabled in this universe." Neji observed. "Do not fear, my youthful rival, I shall carry you because I still have my speed and strength." Lee said heroically as he piggy-backed Neji and started to run.

"PUT ME DOWN, LEE!!! AND YOU WONDER WHY PEOPLE QUESTION YOUR SEXUALITY???!!!!" Neji screamed as Lee ran.

**BACK TO PATRICK'S ROCK**

"WILL SOMEONE HELP ME OUT OF HERE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...YOU GUYS SUCK!!!! AND YOU BLOW!!!" a voice shouted underneath the rock.

**BACK TO HINATA, SASUWARD, AND NARUTO**

"-grunt- oohhhh -grunt- eeeeeee -grunt- -grunt-" If you listened to those sounds and was not looking, you would say someone was having a hard time getting everything out if you knew what I meant but that wasn't the case. "-gggggggrrrrrruuunnnnnnnntttt- sorry guys, but I just can't cry. I'm too manly." Naruto said as Sasuward rolled his eyes. "THERE YOU GUYS ARE!!!" the three turned their heads to see a red crab carrying a brown squirrel. "Meow!!" Hinata cried out. (Translation: Lee-kun and Neji-niisan!!!)

"What are you guys doing?" Neji asked as he got off. "This stupid episode will only end if Naruto here can cry. But he won't." Sasuward explained. "And why not?" Neji asked. "I'm too manly." Naruto replied. "Here, let me try." Neji volunteered to make Naruto cry.

"YOU'RE A PIECE OF WORTHLESS SHIT!!!! EVERYONE HATES YOU BECAUSE THE NINE-TAILS IN YOU DESTROYED THE VILLAGE!!! YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO AMOUNT TO ANYTHING!!! EVEN YOUR PARENTS DON'T LOVE YOU!!! THEY DIDN'T DIE BECAUSE OF THE NINE-TAILS, THEY DIED BECAUSE THEIR SON WAS SO GODDAMN UGLY!!! BWHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!"

Neji screamed to Naruto to not have one tear fall. "Sorry, but the villagers have been telling me that for years now and I taught myself not to cry because of that." Naruto said bored. "Hmm...maybe it's not so easy making people cry these days." Neji said at his loss. "Well, you tried your best." Lee said. "SHUT IT YOU GREEN SHIT!!!!" Neji shouted. "Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!" Lee cried as he cried. "I stand corrected." Neji said happy that he could make at least _some _people cry.

_OKAY, LEE'S TURN!!!!_

"Naruto, I shall make you shed tears of YOUTH and joy." Lee said as he cleared his throat. "Hey there youthful folks!!! Great audience tonight I see! I heard my parents loving each other a little too loudly so I just had to get out. I mean they're married so they should start acting like it. Speaking of folks that loved each other I remember being in a classroom. Our teacher was handing out candy kisses. But one of my classmates didn't know what it was. He asked what it was and the teacher said to taste it. The kid popped it into his mouth and shrugged his shoulders. That's when the teacher decided to give another hint. "Okay, it's something your dad wants from your mom before he goes to work." I stood up from my seat and yelled, "SPIT IT OUT JIMMY, IT'S A PIECE OF ASS!!!"

"HAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Naruto laughed. The others didn't laugh because they were so focused on Naruto. Once Naruto was done laughing, not one tear fell out. "Oh..." the others said in disappointment.

_SASUWARD'S TURN_

"Okay, my turn." Sasuward said as he cracked his knuckles.

-10 minutes later-

Naruto was on his stomach, beaten and bloody, as he groaned in pain, yet he didn't cry.

_HINATA'S TURN_

"Okay, Hinata, you're our last hope." Sasuward said. Hinata glided over to the beaten up Naruto. Oh what will she do? What will she say? Oh, the drama!!!!!

"Meow."

"WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYY???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Naruto screamed as he balled liked a baby. Naruto was practically crying up a waterfall. -RRRRRRRRUUUUUMMMMMMBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEE- -POP- A pinapple reappeared. "Hooray!!! The pinapple reappeared, and you know what that means?" Sasuke asked. "This crappy show is over." Neji replied.

**PATRICK'S ROCK**

"HHHHHHHhhhheeeeeeeeellllllloooooooooo?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! You guys!!!! Help me!!!!...I don't want to be alone." Gaarick said under his rock. "Hey, tv."

**-CREDITS ROLL AS NOBODY CARES ABOUT THEM-**

**NARUTO'S APARTMENT**

"Awesome!!! Family Guy's on!!!" I said as I clicked on the remote.

-click-

**THE END OF THIS CHAPTER**

**A/N: Okay, I think that's good but if it sucks, I promise to do better but you got to tell me how. R&R PLZ PLZ PLZ **


	5. 10 Things They'd Never Say

**A/N: Okay, well I'm not busy at the moment so let's get the wheel spinning!!! -spins wheel- ...-Lands on Ten Things They'd Never Say- Oh, a new one. Well, let's go!!! I wonder if it's a good thing to update when I don't feel inspired? Oh well.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

**Warning: OOCness and bad grammer.**

**Now let's spin the Character Name Wheel!!! -spins wheel-...lands on...SASUKE!!!!**

**TEN THINGS SASUKE WOULD NEVER SAY**

**1) RING RING**

**Sasuke: Hello...yes, this is Sasuke...No, I won't give you your butt back Daffy!!!!!!...I need it for MY show...well, my show's more popular...WELL SCREW YOU TOO!!!!**

**2)-During the Chunin Exams-**

**-Sasuke Vs. Gaara-**

**Gaara: -going crazy, holding his head, and mumbling about something-**

**Sasuke: -in front of a tv- Hey, keep it down, I'm trying to watch my favorite soap opera!!!...OH!!! WHY CAN'T YOU TWO SEE YOU'RE MADE FOR EACH OTHER!!!!**

**Genma: You're watching an Esurance commercial.**

**Sasuke: AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO BELIEVES THE PINK-HAIRED GIRL AND BLACK HAIRED MAN ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER????!!!!!**

**Genma: All they talk about is Esurance.**

**Sasuke: EXACTLY!!!!**

**3)-During one of their D-Ranked missions at the farm-**

**-Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura was shoveling 'stuff' when a hen comes by. Naruto looks back and forth at the hen's butt and Sasuke's hair-**

**Naruto: HAHAHHAHHAHHAHAH!!!! Hey, Sasuke, your gay haircut resembles a chicken's butt.**

**Sakura: Naruto, Sasuke's hair is not gay and niether is he. Right Sasuke?**

**Sasuke: I'm into chicks.**

**Sakura: See Naruto?**

**-a mother hen and her little yellow babies comes by-**

**Sasuke: Hey baby, I'm a Love Pirate and I'm here for your booty.**

**-baby chick runs away-**

**Sasuke: Aw come on, don't be like that!!!**

**Naruto: O.O Now we know why he has that haircut.**

**Sakura: TT.TT**

**4)-During the Forest of Death-**

**-Orochimaru appears-**

**Sasuke: I'm tired of these motherfkin snakes in this motherfkin forest!!!**

**5)-IN AN AWARD SHOW-**

**Annoucer: And the Gayyest Man of the Year Award goes to...Uchiha Sasuke!!!!**

**Sasuke: OMG!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I WON!!! Okay, first off, I want to thank Itachi for killing off our family and making me emo, then I want to thank my classmate that accidently pushed Naruto into kissing me. Naruto, thank you for all those times you were a good friend that make it seem like we had a relationship that was more than friends. Not to mention I want to thank all the yaoi fangirls for taking the kiss and the serious friendship moments seriously and forming them into lover moments. I wouldn't have recieved this award without you guys. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!! -audience claps-**

**6) Gay people are always girly and happy while emo people are sad and angsty. Well, I'm both so I'M MULTI-TALENTED!!!!**

**7)-Doing the Chicken Dance-I don't want to be a chicken, I don't want to be a duck, so I'll change my hair!!!**

**8)-During Preliminaries-**

**Sasuke: HEY EVERYONE!!!! I HAVE ESP!!!!**

**Naruto: That explains a lot.**

**Sakura: NARUTO, THAT MEANS HE'S PSYCHIC!!!!**

**Naruto: Cool!!! Predict something!!!**

**Sasuke: Okay!!! -sticks tongue out and crosses his eyes- Kiba, you're going to need this. -Hands Kiba a Febreze bottle-**

**Kiba????????????????????**

**9) I never wanted to be a ninja, I've always wanted to be a Power Ranger!!!! Especially the pink one.**

**10)-Naruto sprays a bottle of Ax on himself-**

**Naruto: Ah. I hope Sakura likes it.**

**-Sasuke walks by, stops and smirks-**

**Sasuke: Bom-chicka-woh-wom, chicka-chicka-woh-wom, OW!!!!**

**( A/N: I luv that commercial so f-u-n-n-i! )**

**A/N: ( IMPORTANT ) Yeah it wasn't long but I don't feel inspired. I am thinking of doing an ask a Naruto Questionaire, so PLZ ASK QUESTIONS!!!! Oh, and dark-emo-gal thank you for the suggestions! I'm thinking of an Avatar thing, I don't watch the Simpsons though. To Uchiha Nara, sorry, I'm a retard, what's a Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader thing? OH YEAH, AND YOU CAN SUBMIT IDEAS TOO!!!! Hopefully I can think of something. R&R PLZ PLZ PLZ!!!!**


	6. Stuck! 3

**A/N: THANK YOU FOR ALL THOSE WHO HAVE EVER REVIEWED AND OR FAVORITED!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! NO, NOT IN THAT WAY!!! Okay, another one of WHEEL OF FORTUNE!!!!! Let's spin the wheel!!!! -spins wheel- ...-lands on Naruto Char. Stuck In TV- Okay, here we go!!!!!**

**Warning: OOCness and bad grammer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

"talking"

thoughts

_narrator_

**STUCK! 3**

-click-

"Where are we? -looks in mirror- OH great, I'm a goddamn ugly hooker!!!" Nejan said. "Uh, no Neji, You're Megan from Family Guy." **(A/N: No, I do not hate Megan. )**Paruto said. "Which show are we on now?" Gaarie asked. "We're on Family Guy. Okay, Neji's Megan, Gaara, you're Stewie, I'm Peter, Lee's Lois, Hinata's Brian, and Sasuke's Chris." Paruto said. "So what do we do now?" Brinata asked. "GGgggrrrrrr..." Paruto's stomach growled. "I'm gonna grab a bite to eat." Paruto said as he went into the kitchen. "Guys, we're out of ramen so let's get some more." Paruto said as he rejoined his friends.

**AT THE MARKET**

"Come get our famous Chicken Bucket where our chickens are actually cooked." a guy in a chicken suit said as he held up a sign. "You sir, come try our Chicken Bucket." the guy in a chicken suit who will now be referred as GIACS said to Paruto. "We're only here for ramen." Paruto said. "Here's a coupon for ramen." GIACS said. "Thanks!!!" Paruto said.

"Naruto-kun, are you sure you can afford all THAT ramen?" Brinata asked as Paruto loaded the shopping cart with 10,000 cups of ramen. "Don't worry Hinata, I got a coupon, now let's go." Paruto said as they went to the cashier. "Sir, that'll be $5000." the cashier lady said. "Oh, I got a coupon." Paruto said as he handed the coupon. "Sir, this coupon expired."

"SONOFA-" Next thing GIACS knew, he was tackled by Paruto. Paruto punched GIACS's face left and right, left and right, left and right until GIACS kicked Paruto into a shelf and held him there. GIACS then took Paruto's hair into his hand and started to bang Paruto's head until he bled. Paruto broke free of GIACS's grasp and broke GIACS's nose. Paruto then pushed the GIACS down and smeared his bloody face all over the floor. The GIACS grabbed hold of Paruto's hand and threw him out the store's window. Paruto landed in a truck as the GIACS jumped in also to finish the job. GIACS pulled out a gleaming knife and aimed it for Paruto's head had it not been that Paruto rolled his head to the side. Paruto took ahold of the knife and used it to stab GIASC. Once Paruto was done and actually paying attention to where he was, he saw he was in a truck with the truck driver staring at him. "You saw nothing." Paruto said as he jumped off the truck.

"See, Naruto won. You guys owe me ten bucks." Leeis said as Nejan, Gaarie, and Chrisuke handed Leeis their money. "Naruto-kun, was that really necessary? Just for an expired coupon?" Brinata asked. "Yes, because in this show, they take it seriously." Paruto said. "GGggrrrrr..." said Paruto's stomach. "Aw man, I still haven't eaten anything yet." Paruto groaned as he and his friends started walking along town. "Hey look Naruto-kun, there's a job for taste-testing different types of ramen." Brinata said as she pointed to a 'Help Wanted' sign. "Alright!!! A lunch I get paid for for eating!!! Let's go!!!" Paruto said as they went inside.

"I got the job!!!" Paruto exclaimed in joy.

_And so, Paruto was paid to eat his favorite meal, ramen. Paruto loved every second of his job. Even though he has a humongous head, webbed feet, and a snout because of the mutant flavored ramen. He remembers nothing due to the amnesia flavored ramen._

_Chrisuke went on a killing rampage because people would not stop calling him a fatso, a lard butt, fatty fat fat McFatty, and so on._

_Nejan decided to be what he looked like, a hooker. He has slept with 109 guys so far._

_Leeis decided to use his incredible gambling skills to win a lot of money. He is now a billionaire._

_Gaarie got jealous of Leeis's money and fullfilled his character, by trying to murder Leeis in order to inherit the money. Leeis is unaware of these attempted murders and he is still living._

_Brinata decided to learn how to make ramen so Paruto would not kill anymore GIACSs. She succeeded but Paruto does not remember who she is._

_-credits-_

**THE END OF THIS CHAPTER**

**A/N: ONCE AGAIN, I WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU FOR READING AND REVIEWING OUR STORY!!! If you want, submit a question or idea for Wheel of Fortune. I'm thinking of doing a Naruto Questionaire or one of the ideas. I'm starting on an Avatar one. R&R PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ **


	7. Naruto Special 1

**A/N: ChangeoFHeArt: This is just a random thing in my head. Actually, I got the idea from MySpace. This chapter is dedicated to all those who have reviewed and or favorited this story. kRaZy and I want to say thanks to:**

**( Anime Ruby Girl ) ( SailorSasuke ) ( nightchild4567 ) ( Hyuga Hinani ) ( MyObsessionIsGaara ) ( slytherinXprincessX16 ) ( Uchiha Nara ) ( dark-emo-gal ) ( MustBeEmo ) ( The All Mighty Black Death ) ( AnonymousNavi ) and ( InoSakuShine )**

**I hope we didn't forget anyone and if we did or misspelled your name, we apologize. Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Directions: Copy and paste the list into a wordpad or anything else like that. Fill in the circles with X's that the statement after the circles applies to you. Total your X's once you are done with the list and multiple by 5. Then fill in the sentence below the list with your number that you have recieved by this list. Let's go!!! Post your results in your review if you would like!!!!**

**Disclaimer: We do not own Naruto or SpongeBob Squarepants or MySpace or Yahoo or Dell or that monkey in our closet.**

**Naruto Survey**

**"Hey Patrick, you should really try this new survey on MySpace." SpongeBob said with glee. **

**"Sure Spongebob." Patrick replied. Patrick walked over to his Dell computer and logged into MySpace. E-mail: patrickstar54321; password: ( A/N: It's a secret. Guess what it is and you get to pick the next topic for Wheel of Fortune!! )**

_-click-_

(X) You watch Naruto or read the manga of Naruto daily.

(X) You buy things that are Naruto related.

() You cosplay as the characters of Naruto.

(X) You start writing fanfics, drawing fanart, or create videos about the characters in Naruto.

() You read fanfics, look at fanart, or watch videos of Naruto.

() You've attempted to perform handsigns in order to perform jutsus.

() You start comparing similarities of different show characters with Naruto characters.

() You've compare real life to the show Naruto. As in you might see your friend's personality as one of the character's personality.

() You pair off the characters of Naruto.

() You notice things in Naruto like if someone's headband falls off as they fall to the ground and then next scene, they suddenly have it back on.

(X) You start noticing things about Naruto characters that is funny like how Rock Lee sounds just like Brocolli or how Kabuto is a name of a pokemon. **Patrick: Hee hee, brocolli...**

() You actually start to shout at your television like if your favorite pairing has a shared screen, you start to shout, "CAN'T YOU SEE YOU TWO ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER??!!!"

() You've never missed an episode of Naruto.

() You can practically answer correctly any questions concerning the show Naruto.

() You take songs and change the lyrics to fit a character of Naruto like how people changed the 'Sexyback' song by Justin Timberlake to the 'Bringing Sasuke Back' song. ( Example: They're bringing Sasuke back, I heard the news I don't know how to act. I hope their shuriken is still in tact. That he's preparing another attack. Don't you knoooooooooow? That he's Orochimaru's slaaaaaaaave? He won't listen to a word you saaaaaaaaay. Why did things have to turn out this waaaaaaaaaay? Ahem, um..moving on. )

() You insert yourself or OCs in some of the Naruto fanfics, fanart, or videos you've made.

() You start to complain about the job that English Dub or 4Kids has done to Naruto.

(X) You take or make Naruto quizzes.

() You have in your profiles in different websites, Naruto banners, videos, links, etc.

() You hum Naruto songs.

Now count your total of X's. Multiple the total by 5. Insert the number in this sentence: I am (blank) percent obsessed with Naruto.

**"Okay Patrick now add up the X's and multiply by 5." **

**"Alright! 1...um...4...uh...9...2!!!!!!!!!!!! I am 1492 percent obsessed with Naruto. Right, Spongebob?"**

**Spongebob laughed his cccrrreeeepppy laugh. ( A/N: kRaZy: Sorry ever since that episode when Spongebob had to take a vacation or else Mr. Krabs would be sued and Patrick took his place and when I heard that scary laugh, -**_shudders-_**I got VERY scared by him. ChangeoFHeArt: hahhahahahha!!!!! kRaZy: DIE!!! ChangeoFHeArt: Oh you would laugh too if it wasn't your phobia. kRaZy: SpongeBob is scawy. ChangeoFHeArt: Why are you talking like that? kRaZy: I don't know. ) **

**"What?" **

**THE END!!! OF THIS CHAPTER!!!**

**A/N: There you have it!!! Hope you like it!!! Hopefully the next real chapter of Wheel of Fortune will come soon. It all depends on my mood and inspiration level. R&R PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ !!!**


	8. Stuck! 4

**A/N: Sorry I took so long. I felt very lazy. Hey! You shouldn't blame me! It's summer! Time to update!!! Okay, -spins wheel-...-Stops on Naruto Char. Stuck In Tv-. Looks like I'm doing another one. Okay, let's go!!!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, then I wouldn't be here would I? In other words, I do not own anything.**

**Warning: Bad grammer, OOCness, and mutant purple monkeys trying to take over the world. Okay, I made up the third one but you just wait. You'll all see.**

**Stuck! 4**

_Water..._

_Earth..._

_Fire..._

_Air..._

_Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony but everything changed when the fire nation attacked us because all of the nations' leaders kicked the fire lord's butt in Super Smash Brothers and stole his pocky without asking. Only this guy with a long beard who already mastered the four elements could save us but when we needed him the most, he got himself fired by asking for a bigger role in the show. 100 years passed and my brother, who looks nothing at all like me, and I met the new hired Avatar, an idiot named Aaruto. He has no respect, lacks skills and knowledge, and has a knack for getting in trouble. He has a lot of learning to do before he can save the world that he's destined to do, but I believe..._

_that we're all doomed._

_Book 2: Earth Chapter 8: The Chase_

_Previously, on Avatar:_

_Azula: If I want to catch my prey, I have to be nimble and quick. I'll need a small and elite team._

_Tophinata: I can't see a thing!! Now I'm actually blind!! Well, at least people will be correct when they mistake me for a blind girl._

_Sasuko: Lee? Dang, you sure did gain some weight. I'm sorry but I can't be seen with you. It's not me, it's you. So bye._

"Guys? Oof!! Gomen." Tophinata said as she bumped into Appa. "Hinata!! What's wrong?" Katari said as she grabbed hold of Tophinata. "I can't see." Tophinata replied. "NARUTO!!! WHAT KIND OF SICK SHOW IS THIS WHERE A BLIND GIRL AND A COUPLE OF KIDS ARE STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE???!!!!" Katari asked as Aaruto looked down from Appa. "Okay you guys, we're in Avatar: The Last Airbender. Hinata is Toph. Toph is a blind girl who can move rocks or something. Neji, you're Katara, she's a girl who can control water. Gaara is Sokka, he doesn't do anything cool except he uses weapons. I'm the Avatar, and if you want to know more about the avatar, see the introduction above. We're traveling for me to master elements." Aaruto explained.

"Well, what are we suppose to do now?" Gaakka asked. "Okay, well Appa's shedding so that means that we're in The Chase where these crazy girls are chasing after us so we get no sleep." Aaruto said as he observed. "Sounds like my typical life." Katari and Gaakka said. "This thing's fur is obviously giving off a trail so we should clean off all the hair that could fall." Katari said. "Okay, one, that thing's name is Appa and two, we can't because that's the third part of the episode so if we did that, it'll speed up the episode where it won't last 30 minutes." Aaruto said.

"So?" Gaakka asked. "So...you know what? Screw this, let's just do it." Aaruto said as they gave Appa a bath. "Okay, now let's fly!!! Yip Yip!!!" Aaruto said as Appa took off. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tophinata, Katari, and Gaakka screamed as Aaruto laughed manically. "TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!!!" "UP UP AND AWAY!!!" "OOMPAH, ARIEL, WE RIDE!!!" Aaruto screamed. "No wonder his catch phrase sucks so much." Katari whispered. "Naruto, why isn't the episode going any faster?" Gaakka asked as Aaruto looked around. "We have to fight." Aaruto said as he landed Appa near the rural ghosttown.

"Hinata, you're blind so stay here." Katari said as Tophinata nodded. "Okay, so what now? Where are the opponents?" Gaakka asked. "Eh, we're suppose to wait for them and be all western like when they show like when two cowboys are having a showdown." Aaruto said. "There you are. You thought you could give us the slip? I didn't think so." Azula said as Ty Lee and Mai were in tow. **'Oh yeah, since we didn't go seperate ways, we didn't get the chance to defeat the two...fuck. Well, at least it's still just three on three. Wait, Zuko's going to be here!!! Double fuck!!!' **Aaruto thought as Sasuko jumped out of nowhere.

"How did I get here?" Sasuko asked as Mai blushed. "Zuzu, so nice to see you." Azula said. "Sasuke!!!" Aaruto screamed in relief to see a friend. "Naruto? Where are we? Who are we?" Sasuko asked. "Ignoring me eh? You dropping your guard will be your downfall." Azula whispered as she, Ty Lee, and Mai charged off. "I'll explain later, just watch out!!!" Aaruto screamed as Sasuko dodged the blue bolt headed towards him. Even though they couldn't do jutsus, had none of their shurikens or kunais, and couldn't summon any chakra, Aaruto, Katari, Gaakka, and Sasuko were holding up against the three girls pretty well. Thank god for ninja taijutsu!!!

"SASUKE!! WE'RE IN THE SHOW CALLED AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER!!! YOU'RE ZUKO, A GUY WHO HAS ABANDONMENT ISSUES AND A OL' NASTY EYE!!! QUICK EVERYONE!!! YOU HAVE POWERS, USE THEM!!! NEJI, USE YOUR WATER POUCH!!!" Aaruto screamed/explained.

Katari got the water pouch from her side after she dodged all of Ty Lee's attacks and was at a safe distance. "WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO WITH THIS THING????!!!!" Katari said as she attempted to whack Ty Lee with the pouch. "NO!!! USE THE WATER IN THE POUCH!!! YOU CAN BEND THE WATER!!!" Aaruto screamed as he ran from Azula. Katari took her pouch and bent it. "THAT WAS COMPLETELY USELESS!!!" Katari screamed. "NO!!! CONCENTRATE AND YOU CAN MOVE THE WATER!!!" So Katari started to concetrate hard on the water as Ty Lee headed towards her.

Katari concetrated harder as Ty Lee came closer.

Harder...Closer.

Harder...Closer.

Harder...Closer. **(A/N: This sounds perverted doesn't it?)**

"Aw, screw it." Katari said as she splashed the water contents into Ty Lee's eyes. "AH!! WATER!!! MY ONE WEAKNESS!!! HELP!! I'M MELTING!!! I'M MELTING!!! WHAT A WORLD!!!! Ty Lee screamed. **(A/N: No, I'm not a Ty Lee hater. )**"Uh no, you're not." Mai said as she threw arrows at Gaakka. "Oh..." Ty Lee said as she stared at herself to see she was not melting. BONK!!! Everything went black for Ty Lee as Katari whacked her water pouch on Ty Lee's head. "GAARA!!! YOU HAVE WEAPONS!!" Aaruto screamed as Gaakka searched himself to find his club.

"HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO CRUSH SOMEONE WITH THIS THING???!!!" Gaakka asked. Gaakka shrugged as he threw his club at Mai only for her to catch it easily. "...That sucks." Gaakka said as he continued running from the weapon wielding woman.

**Naruto's Apartment**

"Man, they're being owned by those chicks." I said as I watched the fight. "Here's Naruto's apartment." I heard a voice which belonged to Sakura said as I turned off the television and hightailed it out of there. "That's weird, they're not here." Sakura said as she observed the empty apartment. "Oooh! Hey Sakura, Flavor of Love is on!" A blonde blue-eyed girl squealed as she looked at the clock. "Oooh! C'mon, let's go watch." Sakura replied with a huge smile on her face. So, Sakura and Ino flew onto the couch and turned on the T.V. to VH1.

"No way am I watching a show where bitchy girls fight over a player." a girl with brown buns and a pink chinese shirt said as she grabbed the remote. "Besides, Futurama's on." "No way!!! Let's watch South Park!!!" A boy with a dog by his side and two triangles on his face said as he snatched the remote only for it to be snatched by a girl with four pigtails and a gigantic fan. "You guys are acting so immature. We're going to watch Yu Yu Hakusho."

"PUH-LEASSSSSSSEEEEEEEE!!!"

"YEAH RIGHT!!!"

"FLAVOR OF LOVE!!!"

"SOUTH PARK!!!"  
"FUTURAMA!!!"

"YU YU HAKUSHO!!!"

The girls and boy shouted as they fought over the remote. Not seeing their friends in the television as the fighting caused the television to switch channels.

-click-

Pumsuke spitted on New Neji. "WHAT THE -bleep- WAS THAT FOR???!!!" "No clue."

-click-

Bartsuke: Eat my shorts.

-click-

Benji: Bite my shiny metal hair!!

Ny: It's not that shiny.

Benji: -his hair shines a bright light-

Ny: Okay, maybe it is.

-click-

Nerama: Hey wait...-looks at his new red hair- whoever this person is...has prettier hair than me...-evil voice- HE MUST DIE!!!

-click-

Kensuke: -sitting in a go-cart- ( everything Kensuke say is going to be muffled)"Hey Naruto, why am I sitting in a go-cart?"

Nyle: Oh no.

Kensuke: -go cart moves behind- AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! -go cart hits a bump on a road- WHOA!! WHY THE FU& CAN'T I GET OUT???!!!! -goes through trees and out- OH SHI$ A BOULDER!!! -go cart hits boulder where it lands upside down on some train tracks- -Kensuke gets up and dusts himself- Holy sh!t I can't believe I'm alive! -Kensuke gets run over by a train-

Leestan: Oh my God, they've killed Sasuke.

Nyle: You bastards!!!

-click-

Brainsuke: "Okay, where are we now?"

Ninky: "We're in Pinky and the Brain."

Brainsuke: "So what are we suppose to do?"

Ninky: "The same thing every night, try to rule the world."

Brainsuke: "But we don't try to rule the world."

Ninky: "In this show, we do."

**Theme Song: Pinky and the Brain. They're Pinky and the Brain. One is a genius, the other's insane.**

Brainsuke: -smirks- Well, we know whose the genius between us.

Ninky: How do you know it's not me.

Brainsuke: ...XD -dies laughing-

Ninky: Oh my God! I killed Sasuke! I'm a- oh wait- we're not in South Park."

**They're laboratory mice. Their genes have been spliced.**

Ninky: But I don't wear jeans, and they're not cut.

**They're Pinky... They're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain**

-click-

-spins wheel- Lands on Naruto Questionaire- ChangeoFHeArt: "Okay, so that means I'm going to have the Naruto characters answer questions. Send in your questions in your reviews!!! And make sure you don't be mean or humiliate Hinata. She's my favorite.

Hinata: Um...thank you?

Sasuke: What about me?

ChangeoFHeArt: Oh yeah, toture Sasuke as much as possible.

Sasuke: HEY!!

-click-

Bob Saget: And our third contestant is..."A Kid Hit By A Train."

-We see Kensuke in the go-cart- False voice to make things funny(aka FVTMTF) I wonder if I can make this thing work. -The go-cart moves through and out of some trees, hits a boulder, and lands on some train tracks- FVTMTF: Oh I hope I don't get hit by a train. -train runs over Kensuke- FVTMTF: Too late. -audience roars with laughter-

Leestan: Oh my God, they videotaped Sasuke's death.

Nyle: Those bastards!

Gaartman: (thinks: I wonder if they're willing to make a copy of that. -smirks- )

-click-

THE END OF THIS CHAPTER

**A/N: Okay, I think I'm good for now. Hope you all like it! I hope it's funny, I'm not all that good with comedy but you know what they say, "Dying is easy, comedy is hard." I mean, you can just easily stab or shoot yourself and pfft you're dead but if you try to make a joke, other people might not think it's so funny or creative. So...yeah...R&R PLZ!!**


	9. TRRT 1

**A/N: Hi!! Me, again! Sorry I took so long and I want to thank all those who have read and reviewed my story. It's time to spin the wheel! -spins wheel- -lands on The REAL Reason They...- Okay! Let's GO!!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this chapter except for the plot and story.**

**Warning: OOCness, bad grammer, and this chapter's pretty short.**

talking

_television talking_

thoughts

**flashback**

**THE REAL REASON ITACHI KILLED HIS CLAN**

It was a bright and sunny morning. The sun was shining and the birds were dead, thanks to Uchiha Itachi. Hey, they were being annoying. What with the chirping while he was having his beauty sleep. Once the birds were dead and silent, Itachi went back to sleep, but not for long. "Itachi! Wake up! It's time to walk Sasuke to school!" His mother, Mikoto annouced perky and chipper as she barged into Itachi's room and opened his blinds.

"Why can't you do it?" Itachi asked. "Itachi. It's important for you to spend _some _quality time with your brother since you're always busy with your missions and whatnot and what better way than to walk him to school?" Mikoto explained as Itachi groaned in annoyance. "How is she related?" "No." Itachi responded flat out as he hid under his covers. _"What did you say..."_ Mikoto asked in an icy tone. "I said-" Itachi started but stopped dead in his tracks as he saw his mother giving him a death glare, but not just any death glare, it was the famous Uchiha Death Glare.

"I said I'll walk Sasuke to school." Itachi answered quickly as his mother's glare turned into a face full of sunshine. "_Now_ I remember how she's related." "That's what I thought you said. Sasuke! Itachi's walking you to school!" Mikoto yelled out for her youngest son. Next thing Itachi knew, a little boy, the age of eight, with the same hair and eye color as him except his hair was spiked out in the back jumped onto to his sensitive area. "Nii-san! I'm ssssssssssssssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy you're walking me to school today!!!! Huh? Itachi, why are tears coming out of your eyes?"

''_Because_ you landed on my fuc-" "Ahem!" Itachi started but was interupted by his mother. "I mean, I'm just so happy that I'm walking you to school today." "Oh! I'm happy to walk with you too Nii-san." Sasuke said. "Well then, Sasuke-chan, I've already packed your lunch on the counter so I'll be seeing you." Mikoto said as she left the room. "Is that a lemonade you got there?" Itachi asked as he eyed the drink Sasuke was holding. "Mm-hmm." Sasuke said as he drank his drink. "Give it to me and get out." Itachi demanded.

"Okay Nii-san, I'll wait for you downstairs. I love you!" "Okay, thanks." Itachi said as if it didn't mean anything at all to him. But Sasuke didn't mind as he closed the door. Itachi then walked to his window, opened it, and poured the liquid contents out of his window, saving the ice. Once he was done, he stretched the front of his pants, giving him a clear view of his boxers and legs. Then he poured the ice in there. Itachi gave out a sigh of relief.

Once Itachi dropped Sasuke off at school and returned home, he threw himself on the couch. "Okay, what's on?" Itachi said as he clicked the remote to turn the television on. "God, that guy is ugly!" Itachi exclaimed in disgust.

_"So, is this ah, is this the part where you guys have your way with me." asked a 'boy' sporting brown hair, glasses, and yellow lacey pajamas seductively to the burglar next to 'him'. "What?" questioned the burglar. "You know, where I'm helpless and you guys take turns. You know?" the 'boy responded. "OH NO!!! OH GOD!!! OH NO!!! NO NO NO!!!" the burglar cried out in complete and other disgust. "What'd she say?" a background voice asked which showed there was other burglars. "She asked if we were going to have our way with her!" the burglar with the 'boy' replied. "EW!" the background voice shouted. _

"Whoa...that guy is actually a girl???!!!!" Itachi said in astonishment.

_"No! Seriously I won't scream or anything!" the girl said as she pulled the burglar close to her as she puckered her lips. "NO! I-I-I no sale!" the burglar said strictly as he pushed the girl away. "COME ON! I'M PRETTY!" the girl shouted as she jumped on top of the burglar._

"That girl must be either delusional or there are no mirrors in that house." Itachi stated as he watched the burglar scream in horror as he ran behind another burglar. 'That girl was so desperate to get raped. I wouldn't be surprised if she traveled all the way to Japan just to get a date.' Itachi thought as he got himself some dango and went back to the couch. DING DONG! Itachi placed his dango away and answered the door to shriek in terror. "Hi! I have a school dance coming and no one will go with me so I went all the way here. So what do you say?" the girl in the television asked. "Hold on one moment." Itachi said as he slammed the door.

"Oh Kami, if you love me...you'll make her go away." Itachi prayed as he opened the door to see her still standing there. "Damn! Okay, maybe if I wait. She'll get the message and go away." Itachi said to himself. 5 hours later... "I'M NOT GOING AWAY UNTIL YOU SAY YES!" the girl shouted. "Shit! Okay, time for Plan B: Kill her." Itachi said as he peeked out. "No, too many witnesses. Do I invite her in and then kill her? OH GOD NO! Inviting a rapist? That'd be more idiotic than the time I caught Sasuke with his secret and he tried to pathetically lie about it.

**FLASHBACK**

**Itachi was searching for his anti-wrinkle cream because he was worried that he has such wrinkles at such a young age. The only room he hasn't search was his brother's room. "Sasuke! Have you seen my 'special' cream." Itachi asked as he barged in because he didn't feel like knocking. "..." Itachi stared as he watched Sasuke, in a blue dress, having a tea party with Mikoto's dolls that she bought because she wanted a girl. Man, was she disappointed.**

**"Uh, would you believe me if I told you that what you were seeing was just a dream?"**

**END FLASHBACK**

Time for Plan C: Tell her you're busy. "Doing what?" "You know, missions and stuff." "Really? I stol- I mean, borrowed the Hokages schedule for all ninjas here and you're free for the whole week." "I DO TOO have something to do!" Itachi countered. "Like what?" "Hold on, give me a moment to think." Itachi said as he went inside to pace. "What do I do? What do I do? I know! Television will have the answer!" Itachi said as he turned on the television.

_"So, what do you say?" the girl outside of Itachi's doorstep asked. "Um, could you give me a second?" a boy asked as he shut the door. BANG BANG could be heard from the house as the boy came out crying. "-sob-Sorry, I have to attend my brother's funeral."_

"THAT'S IT! Oh, wait, my brother's at school. Hm...I guess my family will have to do."

**A/N: And THAT is why Itachi's family is dead. Sasuke is an avenger, is a bastard, and left to Orochimaru. All because of Meg. Sorry I took so long to update! PLZ R&R PLZ PLZ PLZ!!!**


	10. Naruto Answering Machine 1

**A/N: I felt inspired and excited to do this chapter so let's go!!! -spins wheel- -lands on Naruto Char.'s Answering Machine- Oh so cool! A new one! Let's see whose answering machine should we stea-I mean borrow. Borrowing was what I meant. -spins character wheel- -lands on Kiba- Okay! Let's see what kind of messages would our lovable dog boy and his friends would leave.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Kiba's answering machine...I'll give it back.**

**Warning: Contains stupidity that will make the viewer lose 10 IQ points. It's been scientifically proven. This chapter also contains OOCness and bad grammer.**

**kRaZy: Aww...mii poor Kiba!!**

**KIBA'S ANSWERING MACHINE**

-BEEP- **Kiba: **Hey! You've reached the Inuzuka house with Kiba and Akamaru here! **Akamaru: **Arf Arf! **Kiba: **Nobody's home right now to answer any of your calls. So you're suppose to leave a message after the beep. We are probably on a mission, vacation, or anywhere else. **Akamaru: **Ruff ruff ruff! **Kiba: **-snickers- Yeah, or Hana could be staring at the mirror, putting on makeup for hours. I don't know why she even bothers. She's still gonna look like an ugly troll. -snickers- **Hana: **I HEARD YOU SAYING MY NAME!! WHAT DID YOU SAY??!!! **Kiba: **Um...nothing, just saying...um...that me, you, mom, or anyone else isn't home right now? Yeah, sure, let's go with that! **Hana: **Hmmm...okay but don't take too long with the message, there's a limit okay?" **Kiba: **'Kay, sis...man, that was a close one. **Akamaru: **Ruff! Ruff! **Kiba: **Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me Akamaru.

**Kiba: **If you're these specy- no wait, that's not right, what I meant to say was spec-something people later in this message, I have a couple of messages for you.

**If you're Hinata: **Hinata, I'm hiding in a cave southwest of Konoha. You know, the one with the sign, "Kiba's Kave" on it after I placed the message in this phone. Make sure you don't tell Shino where I'm hiding. Me and Naruto um, 'accidently' crushed all his sunglasses, replaced his clothes with tutus, and sprayed bug spray and paint all over his house and him. Could you deliver breakfast, lunch, and dinner to me until Shino cools down or until the next 5 years? Okay? Thanks!

**If you're Naruto: **Kyuubi, I got the egg cartons for the T. P. on the Avenger's house. I'll meet you on my east side of the Avenger's house at 1:00 am.

**If you're Shino: **Um, uh, this isn't Kiba or my-I mean, his house. This...is...Sasuke. Yeah, let's go with that. Hn. Yeah, and I'm an avenger. I hate my family because they killed Itachi. WAIT!! LET ME TRY THAT AGAIN!!!! -BEEP-

"Um, that was...interesting. Oh, he has four messages. Now let's play his messages." I said as I pressed the button.

-BEEP- July 20th, 2:09 pm -BEEP- **Hinata: **Kiba, you just...oh, nevermind. Don't worry Kiba, maybe I can talk to Shino about this to let you live. -BEEP-

-BEEP- July 21th, 12:38 am -BEEP- **Naruto: **Dog Boy you idiot! You were suppose to get toilet paper to T. P. Sasuk-I mean, the Avenger's house. _I _was suppose to bring the eggs. Ah well, maybe we can just settle for just egging. Okay, so it's settled then. We'll meet on your east side of the Avenger's house. -BEEP-

-BEEP- July 23th, 6:45 pm -BEEP- **Shino: **...revenge will soon be _miiinnee... _-BEEP-

-BEEP- July 24th 2:58 pm -BEEP- **Sasuke: **Okay, one, it's the other way around. Two, you have a brain the size of a raisin. Three, I do NOT sound like that. Four, I'm going to _kill _you for that prank. And fifth, this is what YOU sound like: My name's Kiba. I think my directions of north, south, west, and east change if I change the way I'm facing. I have a hydrant in my bathroom which I pee on with one leg standing up. I use to f--k dogs until I met Hinata. Now I just masturbate furiously to any pictures I find of her. **Naruto: **Oh god that is just plain sick!!! **Sakura: **NO SASUKE!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE THINGS I'M HEARING!!! **Ino: **Oh my Lord!!! -THUD- **Kakashi: **-sniff- -sniff- My Sasuke is growing up. -sniff- But I still can't believe you pee with one leg standing up and that you use to f--k dogs. **Sasuke: **What the hell are you all doing in my house???!!!! **Naruto:** We broke in to celebrate your birthday. But now we're all scarred for life thanks to you. Seriously, just when you thought you knew a guy. **Sasuke: **My birthday was YESTERDAY!!! **Kakashi: **Not to mention you scared Hinata over here. **Sasuke: **Hinata, I can ex- WAIT DON'T RUN!!! COME BACK!!! **Kurenai/Neji/Shino: **STAY AWAY FROM HER YOU SICK FREAK!!! ( fighting noises ) -BEEP-

ChangeoFHeArt: "Okay...TUNE IN NEXT TIME!!! BYE BYE!!!"

**THE END OF THIS CHAPTER**

**A/N: Will Sasuke ever tell Hinata his side of the story? Will Kiba ever live? Who am I going to toture next? Stay tuned. I hoped you liked it even though it was pretty short and not that much funny. R&R PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ!!!!! And ask questions in your reviews because I'm thinking of doing a Naruto Questionaire next time.**


	11. Oturan 1

**A/N: Time to spin the wheel again! -spins wheel- -lands on Naruto World MeSsEd UP- R&R PLZ PLZ PLZ!!!**

**HUGE WARNING: OOCNESS!!!!! and bad grammer and a couple of one sided pairings and that's it I swear. And if you find this messed up, tttttthhhhhhheeeeeennnnn look above!!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. **

talking

_thoughts_

**INNER**

**Directions: Read names backwards to find out what character it is. Why? CAUSE IT'S A MESSED UP NARUTO WORLD!!!!**

**Oturan: Episode 1**

"And that, brats, basically covers chakra control." Akuri scowled at his students. "Akuri, Ekusas is faking a suicidal attempt on the mountain that all the Hokages enslaved us to imprint their faces in again." A random dude said as he entered. "YES!!! WITH HIM GONE, THAT MEANS ONE LESS STUDENT TO TEACH!!! Come on class, let's see if he's ACTUALLY going to kill himself." Akuri said as the class filed out of the classroom.

**AT THE MOUNTAIN WITH FACES ON IT**

"I SWEAR!!! I'M GOING TO DO IT!!!" Ekusas yelled as he held a gun next to his head. "Woot!!! Do it!!!" All the villagers cried. "BY ANY CHANCE, IS ATANIH AGUUYH IN THAT CROWD???!!!!" Ekusas asked as the crowd searched. "YEAH!!! SHE AND A BUNCH OF OTHER PEOPLE JUST ARRIVED!!!" **INNER EKUSAS: YES!!! THIS IS MY CHANCE TO IMPRESS HER WITH MY EMONESS!!! **"NNNNNNNOOOOO!! DON'T DO IT EKUSAS-KUN!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!"

"WAS THAT YOU ATANIH-CHAN??!!!!" Ekusas asked as he looked over the mountain's edge. **INNER EKUSAS: -jumping around and giggling like a school girl- I KNEW SHE LOVED ME!!! **"NO!! IT'S ME!!! OTURAN!!!" **INNER EKUSAS: DAMN!!! **"OKAY!!! GOODBYE WORLD!!! I'M GOING TO MISS YOU AND ALL THE LIVING CREATURES AND NATURE BEAUTIES THAT YOU'VE CREATED AND THE PEOPLE!!! OKAY, HERE GOES!!!! 10!!...9!!!...8!!! 8 and a half!!!!- "OH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS LIVING!!! JUST DO IT ALREADY!!!!"

"WAIT!!! We can't have Ekusas kill himself." Uramahonok, the hokage, said as he came out of nowhere into the crowd. "Why not?!" Akuri asked as he started to cry to the thought of Ekusas staying alive. "Because he is going to have a fortune with a lot of zeros after a bigger number inherited by the age of 18. If he kills himself before 18, that money goes to his whole family but killed AFTER 18, the money goes to the whole village." Uramahonok stated as the villagers started to share glances and then started to yell at Ekusas to NOT kill himself.

"Atanih!! You have to stop Ekusas from killing himself so I can finally afford that My Little Pony full-collection set!! Akuri said as he started to shake Atanih. Atanih grabbed Akuri's hands and squeezed them so hard that you could practically hear the cracking of the bones. "Don't touch me." Atanih stated icily as she started to jump from cliff to cliff until she reached the top of the Mount Rushmore rip off. _'She's sssssssooooooo cool.' _ the boys thought as they watched Atanih jump.

"Ekusas, quit acting like an emo-wannabe. It's not going to make me fall in love with you." Atanih said. Ekusas gave out a whiny sound as he lowered the gun. **INNER EKUSAS: I'LL NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU ATANIH-CHAN!!! I KNOW THAT YOU'RE JUST SHY!! CHA!!! **"Okay everybody no suicide attempt here. Leave." Uramahonok said as he shooed everyone away.

"This was a complete waste of my time and life." "What life? We're all just background characters so it'll look like the main characters aren't the only people in this whole village. We don't even have names." "-sniff- -sniff- Did you HAVE to remind me that?" "Sorry man."

**BACK AT THE CLASSROOM WHICH ONLY APPEARS FOR A FEW EPISODES**

"Okay since Ekusas is living right now, that puts me into a crappy mood. So, for the rest of the day, we're going to be bungee jumping off the academy's roof instead of learning." Akuri said as the class groaned. "Man, I can't believe we're not doing any work at all but having fun." Oturan huffed as he pouted and crossed his arms. "Y-yeah, but w-what can we d-do about it Oturan-kun?" Arukas asked softly as she blushed and tapped her two fingers together. "I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to practice my shadow clone jutsu." Oturan said as he started to make handsigns.

"O-oturan-kun, d-don't. You'll get in t-trouble." Arukas warned, but it was too late. Oturan already made a shadow clone and a crappy one at that. "OTURAN!!! EVEN THOUGH THAT IMAGE OF YOU AS A CORPSE SATISFIES ME, YOU'RE STILL GETTING DETENTION FOR TRYING TO LEARN WHEN YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TOO!!!!!" Akuri shouted.

**AFTER SCHOOL**

"-sigh-Akuri-sensei is mad at me." Oturan said as he felt guilty. "Hey Oturan, I know how to make Akuri forgive you which isn't a plot to get you to steal something so I can have it since I'm not a criminal." Ikuzim said. "Really?! Oh, that'll be great!!! Oturan said as he jumped up and down in joy. "Yeah, all you have to do is steal this ancient scroll that if a culprit, who I'm not, gets their hands on it, they can control the world." Ikuzim told Oturan as he ran off to steal something. "Yep, giving out stolen valuable gifts always settles a feud. Did I mention I'm not a delinquent?" Ikuzim said to no one in particular.

"Akuri!!! Oturan stole the ancient scroll!!" Uramahonok stated. "And?" Akuri asked. "And we want you to go get it." Uramahonok explained. "And I have to do it why?" Akuri asked. "Because if he could get past these trained ninjas, what makes you think they can even find him? And they're lazy." Uramahonok responded. "What if I don't feel like it?" Akuri asked. "Then I'll cut you from receiving Ekusas's fortune so you can never have that My Little Pony Karaoke Machine." "Why didn't you use the same threat on those guys?" "Because they're highly trained ninjas that don't need to waste their time on finding one little punk. Now go." "...Fine."

"Oturan, you have one second to explain yourself before I beat you to a bloody pulp for making me find you in the dead of night." Akuri said. _'HE was looking for ME? Wow!!! He cares about me!!!'_ _'Hmmm..Do I make his death fast and painful or slow and painful?' _ "I was stealing this ancient scroll for you. Ikuzim said that this scroll is very powerful and if a bad guy got it, he could rule the world but I don't have to worry about that. Here." Oturan said as he handed the scroll.

_'World Domination? MWAHAHAHHAHHAHAHA!!!!!' _"Oh my God Akuri-sensei, are you alright?" Oturan asked as he saw a huge star shaped thingy sticking out of Akuri's back. "Hmmm...oh, I didn't notice that...OH MY GOD!!!" Akuri shouted in pain. "It's a good thing I showed up on time." Ikuzim said as he jumped down from the tree. "Ikuzim!!! What was that for???!!!!" Oturan asked. "He was planning to rule the world with the scroll. I saw it in his eyes." Ikuzim said. "LIAR!!! AND FOR LYING and almost killing my sensei, I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU TO A BLOODY PULP WITH MY CLONES!!! SHADOW CLONE JUTSU GO!!!" Oturan shouted as hundreds, maybe thousands of Oturans appeared.

"But wait!!! You sucked badly at that jutsu!!!" Ikuzim observed. "I learned how to do clones properly with the scroll and the power of learning!!!" Oturan said as his clones and he started to punch and kick Ikuzim. _'Amazing, if the scroll can make a complete dunce like Oturan learn such a technique. Just think of what it can do for me.' _Akuri thought as he enjoyed the show. "I can't believe that Ikuzim would accuse you of dominating the world." Oturan said as he was finished. "Actually Oturan, I do want to dominate the world but since you gave me the scroll that can help me in my plan, I'll kill you last." Akuri said.

"...Okay!!! Good luck in dominating the world!!!" Oturan said as he hugged Akuri.

**THE END OF EPISODE 1**

**A/N: Okay, that was the best I could do. Hope you thought it was funny. R&R PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ !!!!** **And ask questions in your reviews so I can do an Ask A Naruto Character Anything thing. BYE!!!**


	12. LPGW 1

**A/N: Man, was I not updating for awhile and I just got this account! Anyway, time to spin the wheel! -spins wheel- ...-lands on Love Potion Gone wRoNg!- Hope you enjoy! R&R PLZ PLZ PLZ!!!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**Warning: MAJOR OOCNESS! crack pairings galore, and a few grammar errors.**

talking

_thoughts_

**INNER**

**Love Potion Gone wRoNg! 1**

"Hey Sasuke-kun, I was wondering if you um, liked to go on a date with me?" Sakura asked to the brooding Uchiha before her. "No." Sasuke flat out replied as Sakura drooped her head in disappointment. "Oh, okay." "I'll go on a date with you Sakura-chan!" Sakura's other teammate offered. "(Sigh) No thanks Naruto." Sakura said as both she and Naruto sulked in silence which was a miracle to Sasuke's ears.

**10 minutes later...**

"I WISH SENSEI WOULD BE ON TIME FOR ONCE!!!" Naruto yelled. 'The silence was nice while it lasted...' Sasuke thought in annoyance as he grumbled because of Naruto's outburst.

**3 hour later...**

"Yo." Kakashi greeted as he poofed out of nowhere. "YOU'RE LATE!" Both Naruto and Sakura shouted in unison like they always did. **( A/N: I guess it's like a Team 7 tradition. ) **"Sorry I was late, a man spilled his bag of mirrors on the road and I had to be careful to avoid bad luck." "LIAR!!!" Naruto and Sakura shouted again in unison. **( A/N: Yay! Another Team 7 tradition! )** "Anyways, we don't have training. Bye!" Kakashi said as he left in a puff of smoke.

"Well, with nothing to do, I guess I'll just go train with Tsunade-sama." Sakura said as she left. "Hi Tsunade-sama. Kakashi-sensei canceled training again so I'm here to train with you." "SAKURA! -hic- Glad you're here. -hic- There are some books-hic- I need you to put back on my shelf! -hic-. The fifth Hokage said as she was completely drunk. "Hai Tsunade-sama." Sakura said as she got the stack of books on Tsunade's desk.

'_That was the tenth time of the day Sasuke turned me down.' _Sakura thought as she placed book after book on the shelf. **CHA! YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY! ELEVENTH TIME IS THE CHARM! **Inner Sakura yelled. thud! Sakura snapped out of her trance as she realized that she dropped a book. "Oops." Sakura said as she went to pick up the book. **WAIT! LOOK AT THE TWO PAGES!** Inner Sakura shouted as Sakura observed the opened book.

"Love Potion: Get the One Your Heart Desires..." Sakura read. **CHA! THIS COULD BE OUR CHANCE! **"No, I shouldn't, that would be like manipulating Sasuke-kun." Sakura said. **NO! THINK OF IT AS HELPING SASUKE-KUN DISCOVER HIS TRUE FEELINGS! BESIDES, THIS IS A SIGN SINCE THE BOOK OPENED TO THAT PAGE! **"Or a coincidence." Sakura countered.

**AAAAAARRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!! THINK! WITH THIS LOVE POTION, SASUKE-KUN WILL BE OURS! JUST THINK! HE'LL SAY, "OH SAKURA! YOUR BEAUTIFUL HAIR IS SO GORGEOUS! I JUST WANT TO RUN MY FINGERS THROUGH IT! **"Yeah, that would be kind of nice." Sakura said dreamily. **WE COULD EVEN GET A KISS!!!!** AAAIIIIEEE!!!!! OKAY! YOU CONVINCED ME!!! I'LL DO IT! **ATTA GIRL!**

**"REMEMBER! MAKE SURE YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON SASUKE-KUN SEES AND HE'LL BE ALL YOURS!" **Inner Sakura reminded as Sakura walked towards the bridge that Team 7 would usually wait for their sensei. "Hi Sasuke-kun!" Sakura greeted with extra enthusiam. "HI SAKURA-CHAN!" Sasuke yelled as he gave a huge grin out to the pink kunoichi. Just kidding. I'm pretty sure you ALL know who really said that.

"Oh. Hey Naruto." Sakura said as she turned back to Sasuke. "So Sasuke-kun, it's pretty hot out huh? I brought you this energy drink so it can make you train more than you usually do so you'll get better without having to worry about exhaustion." Sakura said as she offered the drink to the Uchiha avenger. POOF "Don't do it." a little Sasuke appeared on Sasuke's shoulder. "It could be drugged."

"Who're you?" Sasuke whispered. "I'm you're evil self. You know, where you have a little devil and angel self of you appear on your shoulders to help you decide. "One: I already was going to say no. I know that she did spike the drink. Two: Aren't you suppose to have little horns, a tail, and a trident?" "Che. That would make me look ridiculous." "Hn. Good point." POOF "Let me guess, you're the good side of me." "Hn." "Well, what do you got to say?"

"The same thing as the evil side said to you." "And you're suppose to be my good side?" **(A/N: Like you ever had a good side.)**

"Sasuke-kun?" POOF POOF Sakura asked as Sasuke snapped out of his thoughts and turned his attention to his teammate. "No." Sasuke answered to Sakura's offer as he turned his head in another direction, missing Sakura's vein mark on her head.

"Oh come on Sasuke-kun! This tastes _really _delicious. In fact! Have some!" Sakura said as she squeezed the bottle, causing it to squirt its contents. **THIS IS IT! NOW MAKE SURE YOU'RE IN FRONT OF SASUKE-KUN'S EYESIGHT! CHA! DON'T BLOW THIS!** Sakura came back to reality as she turned towards Sasuke to see that her love potion wasn't spilled on the Duck Avenger but instead, (bet you're all in anticipation!)

You're going to see who it is in 5...4...3...2...1 You were counting too fast! Go back and count slowly! Aww...who can blame you? Back to the story.

a log. _'A substitution jutsu?'_ "If you think you're going to get me to drink that, you're wrong." Sasuke said behind Sakura. **DAMN! SO CLOSE! WE'RE GOING TO NEED A PLAN!**

NEXT DAY...

"You guys, I'm holding a backyard party so we can keep cool in this hot weather. There will be drinks and sprinklers to keep cool. So make sure you bring your swimsuits." Sakura said on Team 7's usual spot on the bridge. "COOL! Can I invite other people too?" Naruto asked. "Um, sure!" Sakura agreed. POOF "I have a couple of people in mind who I'd like to invite." Kakashi said as he appeared. _Ugh. More people?!_ "Okay, okay. Invite who you like. The party's tomorrow at 12 pm." Sakura informed.

THE PARTY...

"Sasuke-kun...are you ssssuuuurrrrrreeee you don't want to drink some of this delicious punch?" Sakura kept offering to Sasuke. "For the last time, no. Now leave me alone." Sasuke said as his last nerve was being grinded down into dust. "Come on, it's so hot out here. You need to keep yourself cool. This _is _the point of this party." Sakura tried again for the 125347th time. Just kidding, this is actually her 8th try.

"Hn. Fine." Sasuke said as he took the cup out of Sakura's hand. **ABOUT TIME!** "Um, aren't you going to leave now? I got the punch, now go." Sasuke said. "Hm? Oh! Um, I'm just making sure you drink all up!" Sakura said as she gave Sasuke a smile. _'Damn. She isn't leaving.'_ "I need to use the restroom." Sasuke said. "Oh! Inside, two doors down to your right." Sakura said as Sasuke left.

_Fffffllllllllllllluuuuuuuuussssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh..._"Ah! He's back." "SASUKE-KUN! WHAT A SURPRISE!" "Oh great...INO-PIG! LET GO OF SASUKE-KUN!!!" Sakura screamed at Ino. "I don't want to." Ino said in a childish manner as she held on tighter to Sasuke's arm. "Besides he loves _me._" "NO HE DOESN'T!" "YES HE DOES!" "NUH-UH!" "UH-HUH!" "BE QUIET! You two are grating on my last nerve."

"I know, let's let _Sasuke-kun_ decide. Sasuke-kun, why don't you take a drink and tell us who you love." Sakura said. "Hn." Sasuke said as he drank his drink as Sakura made sure Sasuke kept on staring at her. _GULP_ "No one." Sasuke said as he left. _"But-but-but-the love potion!"_ **LOOK!** Sakura turned her attention to see Sasuke standing near a tree. POOF Suddenly, Sasuke disappeared.

_'A shadow clone? Then where's the real Sasuke-kun?'_ **LOOK OVER THERE!** Sakura turned her attention to the punch bowl to see Sasuke pouring something in it. "NO!" Sakura screamed as she ran over to the punch bowl. _'The love potion's in here. I've got to get rid of it.' _Sakura thought as she carried the bowl towards her house. "Ah. There's the punch bowl." Neji said as he grabbed onto it. "Um...what are you doing?" Sakura asked as she tugged the punch bowl out of Neji's grasp.

"I'm going to pee in the punch bowl, I'm going to drink some punch. What do you think I'm going to do?" Neji said as he reached for the ladle. "NO! I mean, why?" "I'm thirsty of course." "You don't want to drink from _this_ punch bowl." Sakura reasoned. "It's the _only_ punch bowl, it's hot out, I'm thirsty, so give it to me." Neji said as he pulled on the punch bowl.

"NO!"

"Give it to me woman!"

"NO!"

"I want some punch!"

"LET GO!"

During Neji's and Sakura's struggle, the punch bowl then went flying as Sakura used her strength to get the punch bowl back. **(A/N: Pretend this went in slow motion.) **"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Sakura screamed as the punch bowl went flying and finally spilled its now-filled-with-love-potion liquid.

**A/N: That's it for now. The next chapter of this will show who got effected. Sorry I took so long. R&R PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ!!!**


	13. Naruto Special 2

**A/N: A random thought in my head as I was typing! So ANOTHER NARUTO SPECIAL!!!! I was walking (that's how I brainstorm for ideas) when BAM!!! It hit me! First I got a concussion but when I awoke, I decided to do a Naruto Horoscope! For people who want to know their future. wwwwwwwooooooooooo... Ahem, anyway, let's get started! I would also like to thank the people who have reviewed for Chapter 9, 10, 12, and 11. What? You seriously thought I would go in order? Anyways, THANKS TO:**

**( Mahou Inu Alex ), ( ****AnonymousNavi ), ( XxPoisoned DreamsxX ), ( Anime Ruby Girl ), ( Baka Kyoko-Chan ), ( The All Mighty Black Death ), ( dark-emo-gal ), ( slytherinXprincessX16 ) I apologize if I forgot anyone or mispelled their names.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or astrology.**

**Warning: A little OOCness and bad grammar.**

**NARUTO HOROSCOPES**

Horoscopes: We have selected anonymous people with the same sign to write your horoscopes. More than one person have written your horoscope and only their sign will show who they are. **( Try to guess who they are! And DON'T cheat by looking up a Naruto Birthday List! )**

Aries: Signs point that a certain Leo is too shy to tell you how they really feel. But don't give up and don't let any annoying blondes interfere with your true love!

Libra: Ignore what any big foreheaded Aries tell you. Obviously, you and a certain Leo should get together. AND NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS AND DEFEAT A I-THINK-I'M-ALL-THAT LEO! Oh, and I am pretty sure a certain Aries likes you.

Aries: Fat chance.

Leo: That's because I am.

Libra: Grrrrr...I LOVE YOU LEO!!!

Gemini: You can only reach your full potential through hate. So let your hatred overrule you to unleash your full power so you can someday kill someone. Ignore what my partner said, remember to do well in school and always listen to your teacher. Why did I get the goody two shoes for my partner? Because we have the same sign.

Leo: DIE GEMINI!!!

Gemini: EXCUSE ME YOUNG MAN???!!!!

Leo: Not you, the other one.

Gemini: Okay then. Foolish little...Leo. You do not have enough hatred. Hate me. Despise me. Only then will you be able to kill me. Why can't we all just get along? Stay out of my hatred speech!! Let's just get on to the next horoscope. Fine.

Taurus: If you're ever going to eat, select sour cream and onion chips.

Libra: THAT'S NOT A HOROSCOPE!!!!

Virgo: Just let him do what he wants woman.

Libra: Horoscopes are suppose to say things that people are suppose to decipher themselves. NOTHING is mysterious about eating sour cream and onion chips. Unless they have a bomb in there. STAY OUT OF THIS!!! A horoscope should be like, "You'll find wealth." or "You're one true love is right under your nose." NOT eating sour cream and onion chips!

Taurus: Fine, fine. You'll marry the one you're least expecting. Happy now?

Libra: Yes.

Pisces: Try to get noticed. It's not fun being a complete nobody. I should know.

Every sign expect Pisces: Who are you?

Pisces: See what I mean.

Aquarius: ...try to get some people to like your favorite thing or else they'll destroy them...

Scorpio: A certain Leo wants to have mad sex with you. I concur kukuku.

Leo: ...ew...

Virgo: Go watch some clouds, read a book, or polish your weapon. That should be enough for you people.

Libra: Only you would be lazy enough to just type that. heehehhehe...virgo...virgin...hehehhehehe You guys are virgins. hehhehehe

Virgo: We're only 12 and 15. At least we're not going to be the next fourty year old virgin like you.

Libra: Hmph.

Sagitterius: HAVE A YOUTHFUL DAY! LET YOUR WILL OF FIRE BURN AND TO GIVE A YOUTHFUL SMILE TO EVERYONE TO MAKE YOUR YOUTHFUL DAY YOUTHFULLER!!!!

Cancer: Is that even a word? No. I thinks it's our turn. Alright then. If you have a dog, play with it, give them belly rubs, and feed them your dinner if they want some. If you have a cat, leave them outside when it rains. It is your destiny. ARF ARF We don't need your dog to tell a horoscope. You may not know, a couple of dogs could read this. Hn. Doubt it.

Leo: Always have a secret stash of your favorite drink so a certain assistant won't steal it. Make sure you kill your older siblings so they won't kill your family. Make sure you do it soon and painful.

Capricorn: Release maximum carnage..., RUN INTO THE SUNSET AND CHALLENGE YOUR RIVAL, and a-always have self-c-confidence.

**A/N: ...Gee, don't they make **_**great**_** horoscope tellers? Anyways! I hoped you enjoyed your horoscope and the chapter. I hope you can tell who is who. Remember, more than one person is telling your horoscope. Try to guess who they are! **

**Here's the number of people who did the horoscopes. Aries: 1 Libra: 2 Leo: 2 Gemini: 2 Taurus: 1 Virgo: 3 Pisces: 1 Aquarius: 1 Scorpio: 2 Sagitterius: 1 Cancer: 2 Capricorn: 3 I made some of them pretty obvious huh? But I bet you can't guess them all!!!! R&R PLZ PLZ PLZ !!!!!!!**


	14. IDENTITIES REVEALED!

**A/N: Just a quick chapter to tell you who had your horoscope.**

**Disclaimer: Me no own Naruto.**

**IDENTITIES REVEALED!!!!**

**Aries: March 21-April 19 (****Haruno Sakura)**

**Taurus: April 20 - May 20 (**** Akimichi Chouji)**

**Gemini: May 21-June 21 ( **** Umino Iruka, Uchiha Itachi)**

**Libra: September 23-October 22 ( Ino, Naruto)**

**Pisces: February 19-March 20 ( Tenten )**

**Aquarius: January 20-February 18 ( Shino )**

**Scorpio: October 23 - November 21 ( Orochimaru, Jiraiya)**

**Virgo: August 23-September 22 ( Temari, Kakashi, Shikamaru)**

**Sagittarius: November 22-December 21 ( Rock Lee)**

**Cancer: June 22-July 22 ( Hyuuga Neji, Inuzuka Kiba, Akamaru)**

**Leo: July 23-August 22 ( Tsunade, Uchiha Sasuke)**

**Capricorn: December 22-January 19 ( Hinata, Gaara, and Gai)**

**A/N: THANK YOU TO ALL WHO REVIEWED!!!! IT MAKES ME ALL WARM INSIDE!!! or it could be gas.**


	15. Naruto: Behind the Scenes! 1

**A/N: Another one from me! I got inspired! Okay, so let's spin the wheel! -spins wheel-...-lands on Naruto: Behind the Scenes- Oh Goodie! A new one! So let's go! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**Warning: Of course OOCness if it's a Behind the Scenes thing.**

**NARUTO: BEHIND THE SCENES 1**

"Hinata! It's time for school!" Neji cried out to Hinata. "Coming Neji-niisan!" Hinata cried out as she came down the steps. "I didn't know I was taking you guys so long! So let's go already!" Hinata cried out as she ran to the door only to be stopped by Sasuke. "You didn't eat breakfast yet." He stated. "So?! We're late! I'm not that hungry anyway!" Hinata cried as her stomach growled. "Yes you are now sit down, and eat some breakfast." Sasuke said as he dragged Hinata to the table.

"You guys! Come on! We're going to be late for school!" Hinata cried in despair as her brother Neji was blocking the door. "Not until you eat some nutrients. Besides, if you don't want to be late, then you should start eating. I already made some oatmeal for you." Sasuke said as Hinata sat down in defeat. "Hinata! Don't eat so fast, you'll choke! Now, here, I'll feed you. Airplane. VVvvvrrrrrrroooooooommmmmmmmmm!!!" Sasuke said as he made a motor sound as he moved the spoon with oatmeal in a swirling motion.

"Ah Hinata! Save the passengers on the plane by opening your mouth!" Sasuke cried out as he moved the spoon towards Hinata's mouth. Hinata gave Sasuke a dirty look as Sasuke kept bumping the spoon at her tightly closed mouth. "VVVrrrrooommmmmmmmmmkkkrrrrrrrssssssssshhhhh.." Sasuke 'said' as he moved the spoon downwards into the bowl as he made a motor broken sound. "Good job Hinata, you killed innocent oatmeal on that plane." Sasuke said pretending to be sad.

"Sasuke-niisan! I'm 12 not 2! I can feed myself!" Hinata said as she grabbed the spoon. "Uh-oh, the 'I-can-do-everything-myself' phase!" Neji said. "I'm not going through a phase you guys!" Hinata cried. "A period maybe? Our Hinata is growing up." Sasuke said to Neji as they both looked at Hinata. "I'M NOT HAVING MY PERIOD!" "Hinata! You're turning red! I'll phone the hospital!" "I'll get some ice! CODE RED! CODE RED!"

"NO! FALSE ALARM! I'll calm! See? I'm not red anymore. You guys don't have to panic anymore. Now let's go to school." Hinata said as she dragged Sasuke and Neji to Itachi's lexus where Itachi was waiting for them.

**HINATA'S POV**

This always happened to me. My brothers baby me, I turn red, they start to panic. That's my life. Neji-niisan, Sasuke-niisan, and I are triplets. Neji and Sasuke like to think of themselves as the 'older brothers' just because Neji was 1 minute older and Sasuke was 30 seconds older. For the babying thing, when I was 8 I had a seizure. Now, I just have seizures rarely but when I do have one, I turn red. People at first thought I was just shy. But I was anything but shy. When they figured out the truth, some people felt sorry for me or thought I was contagious and sick. I hope they burn in hell. I didn't need them talking shit or pity me.

We actually arrived on school on time. I went over to my best friend Tenten, my other friend, Shikamaru, and my boyfriend Lee. Just make sure you don't tell my brothers. Only my friends knew of our relationship because the last boyfriend I brought, I never saw again.

**Flashback**

_"Hewwo!" An eight-year-old Hinata yelled as her brothers greeted her. "Hello Hinata. Did you have a good time at the after-school reading program?" Itachi asked. "Uh-huh." Hinata said as she pulled on a boy's arm to come inside. "Hinata-chan, who is _that?_" Sasuke asked as he, Neji, and Itachi eyed him carefully. "His name's Ayumu. We share snacks togetwer at the weeding prowam and now he's my boyfwend." Hinata replied._

_"I see. Ayumu is it?" "Hai." "Yeah, step into this room for a little talk, you know, guys-to-guy."_

**End Flashback**

I never did saw Ayumu again. I wonder what happened to him? "H-h-hello Hinata-chan." Tenten stuttered a greeting to me. She's really shy but cool. "Hey." Shikamaru replied. He's a very busy guy. Class president, teacher's aid, quarterback for our school, a member of a community service program, he practically did everything and still had high grades and time to hang with us.

"Hi Hinata-chan!" Lee greeted as he walked over to me, just to trip on his own feet. He's very clumsy but he could run incredibly fast. He was the linebacker on the football team, he isn't that much of a snappy dresser, actually, he's known to be the most unpopular guy in school with his taste for a lot of green, his oily hair, he was a D straight student which got him kicked out of the team, and wasn't the best looking guy in school but I liked how he treated me like a human being instead of a girl. I loved football and I tried out. All the guys, especially Shikamaru, didn't like how a 'girl' was playing a 'man's' sport.

They would complain about every little problem I did like if I accidently dropped the ball or wouldn't give me the ball as we were practicing even if I could do better than three-fourths of the football team. Lee never did that when he was on the team and he would stand up for me. I asked him why and one thing led to another and next thing I knew, we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Shikamaru eventually warmed up to me since Lee and him were buds.

"Hey you guys!" I greeted as I took my seat with Neji and Sasuke sitting beside me. "Good morning class!" the teacher said as he arrived. "Good morning Mr. Morino." everyone responded. "Okay, next, we're going to take a pretest on Chapter 3 in your math books. Don't be alarmed, it won't count on your grade but will give you extra credit on how much you scored." Mr. Morino said as he passed out papers. As I was reading the questions to see if I knew anything, a paper triangle came my way.

I hid it quickly to make sure the teacher, but most importantly, my brothers didn't see it. I opened it and it read, _Meet me at the school roof during lunch. -Lee_ I put the note into my pocket as I continued to work on my pretest. After my lunch, I told Sasuke and Neji that I was going to be in the restroom. They nodded as I took off to the school roof.

"Hey Lee." I greeted as I gave him a light kiss. "Hello Lady Hinata." Lee said. I guess it was like a pet name for me. "What did you want to see me for?" I asked as Lee gave me a newspaper. "Elvis Marries Twin-Headed Alien?" I asked in confusion. "Sorry! Wrong side." Lee flustered as he turned the paper over. I giggled as I read the page. "Lee. What does this have to do with me?" I asked. "Hinata, college tuitions are up right now. Shikamaru said it himself, 'it's best to start working now' and since all jobs are just hiring high school teens, this could be the only way we could work. Besides, we could be together more since it'll be just the two of us auditioning."

"Auditioning for what?" "EEK!" "SHIKAMARU! I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT!" I yelled. "Sorry, but what were you guys talking about?" Shikamaru asked. "Here." I said as she handed Shikamaru the paper. "Elvis Marries Twin-Headed Alien?" "Turn it over." "12-15 year olds wanted for auditions for a new television show...I want in." "Sure. Tenten, I think you should join too." I said. "B-b-but y-y-y-you know I-I'm s-shy." "Please Tenten! Then we'll all be together." I pleaded as I whimpered.

"O-oo-okay." Tenten gave in. "Yay! It's settled then, we'll all audition!" "Audition for what?" "EEK!" "Neji and Sasuke-niisan!" "You were taking a long time in the restroom, so we went looking." Neji replied as he took the newspaper from Shikamaru. "We're auditioning also." Sasuke replied after he was done reading it. "B-b-b-but!" Hinata sputtered as Sasuke and Neji dragged her down the stairs. "(Sigh) See you guys on Saturday." Hinata said to her friends and boyfriend.

**SATURDAY**

"Okay, this is the place." Lee said as everyone looked up on the huge building. "Call me and I'll pick you guys up." Itachi said as he drove off. "Wow! Look at all the people!" Lee shouted as they saw hundreds of people auditioning. "We'd be lucky if one of us got on that show." Shikamaru replied. "H-h-hopefully, w-w-we'll a-a-all b-b-be in the s-show." Tenten replied as they all waited in line. "Hey Hinata." "Hi Hinata!" "Hey Naruto! Hey Naruko!" I greeted as I waved to Naruko and her twin brother Naruto. They looked a lot alike than Sasuke, Neji, and I. They had the same features, skin, hair, whisker like birthmarks, and eyes. Only difference on their looks was that they were both different genders and Naruko had long pigtails while Naruto had spikey hair.

They also had different personalities. Naruto was troublemaking like his best friend Kiba while Naruko was trying to act 'mature' since she was 2 seconds older. Telling Naruto and Kiba how 'immature' they were but I knew that she loved pranks just as much as her brother, she just hid it better. "Hey baby!" Kiba greeted as he slung his arm around my shoulders as Sasuke and Neji-niisan were about ready to kill him. Kiba always hitted on all types of girls even if they had boyfriends already. He even hitted on me a couple of times and got beat up by my brothers. But that never did stop him.

"Hey Naruto and _Na-ru-ko_." Kiba greeted as he slung his arm around Naruko also. POW! Kiba got six bumps that day. "So you're here to audition too?" Naruko asked as Kiba whimpered in pain. "Yeah." I replied.

**OUT OF HINATA'S POV**

"Hey Naruto, I spy with my little eye, two hot chicks." Kiba said as he pointed towards two girls. One had pink long hair while the other had blonde hair in a ponytail. "Tell you what, you can have Pinkie, I'll take Blondie." Kiba said as he went up to the blonde girl and slung his arm around her.

"Excuse me, I lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?" Kiba said. "Drop dead." the blonde haired girl said. "That's cool. You'll warm up to me in time." Kiba said as he gave her a grin and a wink. "Are you going to start on me too?" the pink haired girl asked as she eyed Naruto carefully.

Naruto nodded his head 'no'. "Good. My name's Sakura." "I'm Naruto." "Nice to meet you." "Ditto." "Sakura? That name sounds so familiar. Oh yeah! That's the name of my next girlfriend!" Kiba said as he placed his arm around Sakura's waist.

"Obviously, you've got the wrong Sakura." Sakura said as she got out of Kiba's grasp. "Is he always like that?" the blonde girl asked to Naruto. "Yeah. By the way, I'm Naruto." "Ino." "And I'm Naruko. Naruto's older sister. And this is Hinata, Sasuke, Neji, Tenten, Shikamaru, and Lee." Naruko introduced as she pointed to each person.

"What are you holding in your hands?" Shikamaru asked. "These? All the kids that are auditioning are suppose to have one. They describe a personality of a character in the show of what you want to be, they'll give you a scenario, and when it's your turn, you act out your small portion of the script." Sakura explained as she pointed towards a stack of papers.

Everyone grabbed one as they read through it. "So which character number are you going to do Kiba?" Naruto asked. "I'm thinking of doing Character No. 2. He's gets all the ladies." Kiba said as he gave Naruto a perverted grin.

"Character No. 2-His whole family has been killed by his older brother. Making him seeking revenge and having a cold exterior. He's top in his class and all the girls love him although he's not interested. Will have to deal with Character No. 1and 3 as his team. Might be consider gay and emo by fandom. But Kiba, you'll turn down girls, not pick them up and besides, the girls will just be acting that they like you." Naruto observed.

"I know, but it would be nice to have girls fight over you. Even if they are acting." Kiba said as Naruto rolled his eyes. "W-w-what a-are you g-going t-t-to b-be, H-hinata?" Tenten asked. "I'm thinking of Character No. 15. She's sounds bad. Listen to this. Character No. 15-She has a tough exterior outside, spunky, and carries a giant fan to fight her opponents. She has the team of Character No. 14 and 13. She might be paired off with people younger than her in fandom. What about you Tenten?" Hinata asked after she finished reading.

"N-no. 5." Tenten replied. "No. 5-She's is very shy and has a crush on No. 1. She's tries her hardest to become stronger and will be paired off with every character there is in fandom and deemed one hundred percent molestable. Her team consists of No. 4 and 6." Hinata read. "It fits you perfectly. Except for the one hundred molestable part."

"Yeah, that's you." Kiba said as he winked at Hinata. "So what about you Lee?" Hinata asked as she completely ignored Kiba. "I don't know Lady Hinata." Lee said as he looked through the list. "Well how about you guys?" "I'm thinking of No. 9, No. 9 is a very lazy genius who enjoys watching clouds and shogi. He deal's with No. 8 and No. 7 as his team. He will probably just get paired with just girls by fandom." Shikamaru finished.

"You're anything but lazy Shikamaru." Hinata said. "I know but think about it. I do a whole lot of things so if I'm playing a lazy guy, then I do nothing. I need a break." "No. 3 for me! (Giggle)" Naruko said. "_I _wanted to be No. 3!" "That's okay Sakura, you can be No. 5, I'm thinking of being No. 11" "What about you guys?" Hinata asked her brothers. "I'm thinking of No. 14." Sasuke replied. "I'm going with No. 4." Neji stated.

"OKAY KIDS! IT'S TIME TO AUDITION!"

**A/N: I hope this was actually worth reading! I had no excuse to not update. I hope you enjoyed reading this piece of crap! **


	16. Naruto Group Therapy

Okay minna-sama, kRaZy-chan is taking a bit of break to work on her other stories, so I'm taking over for the time being. I really love this story, as it had been my source for laughs, and it was a bit nerve racking she wasn't updating, so I offered to work on it while she got her thoughts, and new computer, together! You can call me Kagome and I hope you enjoy the chapter. So let get started!

(wheel appears and I spin it takes a while to stop spun it too hard lands on Group Therapy ) Yoshi, Group Therapy ok now let's get started!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or this story Naruto was Kishimoto-sensei's idea and this story was kRaZy-chan's idea. Not mine, no suing please, thank you.

Talking ""

Thinking ''

"Therapy! What do we need therapy for!?" It doesn't take a genius it figure out who that was.

"Because all of you have been acting strange and it's causing you to fail your missions!" Again it doesn't take a genius to guess that was too.

"But is it really necessary for all of us to attend?" Neji said, before Naruto and Tsunade cause start another yelling match.

"Yes," the blond said, crossing her arms under her abnormally large breasts. Naruto looked as through he was about to blow up again, but Tsunade's glare made him silent and he proceed to pout at nothing.

"Well where is the therapist?" Sasuke asked annoyed.

"Here I am!" a voice chirped. The Gennin turned just as a woman walked in. She had long curly vivid red hair, dark hazel eyes, and was wearing a plain shirt and shorts.

"Brats, this is Taimi, and she's going to be your therapist."

"Isn't she a bit young?" Sakura said.

"I know, I know I look like I'm 16 or something, but I'm actually almost 30." She grinned at the shocked faces she got in response, including Tsunade's.

"Well let's not worry about me," she drawled waving a hand around, "this is really about you and the little problems you all have so follow me to the sch- er Academy . . . school." She walked off and they followed.

**A **

"Right," Taimi sat on a desk staring at the Gennin, who were sitting in the desks, "who wants to go first. Come on don't be shy." Everyone looked at each other, Taimi eyebrow rose. "Is there a problem?"

"No it's just we don't want to do this." Kiba said. Everyone nodded in agreement. Taimi blinked.

"Well hate to break it ito ya, but y'all have no choice. Tsunade told me I had to get you over what ever it is bothering you no matter what it takes, so seeing as no one wants to volunteer I'll pick. Umm Shikamaru," she stared at the brunette slouched in his seat. "Why don't you go first?"

"Why me?" Shikamaru griped.

"You look bored, so entertain yourself by coming up here and telling us what the problem is." Shikamaru sighed, muttered something about being troublesome, and walked to the front.

"Ok tell us your name and state your problem." Shikamaru blinked.

"Why do I have to say my name? Everyone knows it already and you just said . . ." he trailed off when he noticed she was holding something big, black, and shiny is her arms.

"Um," She looked up and smiled.

"Something wrong?"

"Wh-what is that?"

"This little thing?" Shikamaru eyebrows rose at little, "this is called a gun, a M41A Pulse Rifle to be exact. It fires tiny things called bullets and they hurt worst than being cut and/or stabbed by a kunai." Shikamaru stared with slightly wide eyes, everyone else now feared for his life.

"Now then what were you saying before?" she asked pointing the gun at him.

"My name is Shikamaru Nara and I'm addicted to honey." Everyone got over their fear and was now staring at him with question marks over their heads.

"Honey?" Taimi repeated, Shikamaru nodded.

"Yeah honey, I've been eating the stuff all my life."

"When did this happen?" Taimi lowered the weapon, to Shikamaru's relief.

"Back when I was baby. Evidently it can kill a 5-month-old infant if they have more than a teaspoon. My mom went ballistic on my dad after they got me to the hospital; he was the one that gave it to me. When I was old enough to start having it without the worry of dying, I started eating it everyday. It gets really addicting after the first few spoons full. Did you know it's good for your skin, see mines. "

He held his arm out for everyone to see. His skin was a near perfect shade of honey.

"Wow," Taimi whispered, grabbing his arm to peer at his skin better, "And it's soft too." She moved to his face staring hard, "And your skin is completely flawless. Amazing!"

"Yeah eating that stuff has it perks." Shikamaru shrugged. Taimi nodded ruefully releasing his arm.

"Oh it's gonna be a shame making you stop." Taimi said, and then she grinned.

"Okay, let me see," Taimi grabbed a bag at her side and started digging in, while Shikamaru stared at the wall, "aha got it." He looked at her and stared at the ropes she was holding.

"What are those for?"

"To help with your addiction." She chirped sliding off the desk, "See people who have addictions have withdrawal symptoms. Do you?" Shikamaru nodded. "Good then is this will be easy. I think the only quick way to get over your addiction is to get over your withdrawal symptoms, if you don't have them then you want have the need to eat honey anymore!"

"That makes sense I guess." Shikamaru said, "But what's the rope for, again?"

"To help keep you planted in your seat when the withdrawal symptoms start." Shikamaru gave her one last look before running. And she followed.

The next ten minutes was spent with Taimi and Shikamaru running around the room the shouting things to each other; Taimi trying to catch Shikamaru like he was a cow running, while she was the cowgirl. When she finally did rope him, she dragged him to a chair and tied him to it. Shikamaru was grumbling under his breath as this went on, glaring at everyone else as they made no effort to help him when he was running.

"Alright," Taimi sat down on the desk once again panting from chasing Shikamaru, "who want to be next?" Looks were exchanged, and she sighed. "Fine I'll pick again, hmm, Sasuke."

"What." 

"Get up here and tell us what's wrong."

"Nothing and it is not any of your business." Taimi's eye twitched.

"Ok I can see you're going to be difficult, lucky I brought this." She dug through her bag again and pulled out a small gun, pointed at Sasuke and said, "Don't move." Sasuke didn't even have time to blink before a sharp pain made him cry out and clutch his arm.

"What did-" He started before slumping onto the desk. Sakura and Ino promptly freaked out, Hinata gasped in horror before fainting, Naruto started screaming at Taimi, and everyone else just sat in shock.

"Wa-was that really necessary?" Neji said, in horror. Taimi nodded.

"Yes otherwise he wouldn't talk."

"HE'S NOT TALKING NOW!" Naruto was shrieking.

"Naruto will you shut up!" Everyone stared in awe as Sasuke lifted his head the desk and glared at Taimi, who was grinning.

"Welcome back to the world of the living, Sasuke."

"Shut up! What did you do me?"

"Just a little something called, 'I'm up to no good'" Sasuke's eyes glazed over. Everyone stared in horrified fascination.

"What's wrong with Sasuke?" Sakura asked.

"He's under my control," Taimi said simply motioning for Sasuke to walk to the front. He stood moving to the front of the room and turned to the group.

"State you name and whatever's the hell wrong with you." Taimi said. Sasuke nodded and blinked.

"My name's Sasuke Uchiha and I hate my hair." Question marks shot up all over the place. Taimi blinked many times before saying,

"Say that again."

"I hate my hair."

"Why?" She crossed her arms. 'This ought to be good.'

"Because it always sticks up in the back and is never flat." And suddenly Sasuke's eyes were clear and he was growling, "And it's a dead giveaway when I'm out on missions, I mean the last mission I was on I nearly got my head ran through by a kunai cause the enemy saw the back of my head when I was doing a stake out. Oh and don't even get me started on the how everyone thinks it's so cool to have hair like this! It is stupid! It is ridiculous! This will get you killed on missions!" Sasuke ranted and raved about his spiky hair, flailing his arms, making weird gestures, and for some reason he kept saying it was his brother's fault his hair ended up like was.

Everyone just sat listening until the Uchiha ran out of things to say. Which he did, like half-hour later.

"Hey Sasuke, do feel any better?" Taimi asked, Sasuke nodded.

"Okay, to solve your problem I think you should rap your hair at night."

"What good will that do?" Sasuke grumbled.

"It'll get rid of that duck butt you got." Sasuke scowled at her and sat down. Naruto leaned over and said,

"Wow Sasuke I didn't know you hated your hair so much."

"Shut up Naruto."

"Alright," the redhead said flipping her hair back, "Who wants to go next?" Glances were exchanged, Taimi's eye twitched. "Ok so I hafta choose again. Fine. Kiba you're up."

"Huh why do I-"

"Get up here!" Kiba scrambled to his feet tripping to the front of the room. "Good now state your name and tell us your problem and don't lie." Kiba nodded.

"OK my name is Kiba Inuzuka and I'm addicted to . . ."

"Say it!" Taimi snarled, whipping out a rolled up newspaper. Kiba cried,

"I'M ADDICTED TO EMO THINGS!" Everyones mouths dropped. Taimi blinked a big question mark over her head.

"Say wha!"

"I'm addicted to emo things." Kiba repeated staring at the newspaper warily, Taimi scratched her head.

"Ok I got to hear this, how did this happen?"

"Right, so the other month I heard this song called The Emo Song, and I was like wondering what it's like to be emo. So I started being emo. I like got every emo song there is out there, I painted my room black, I actually bought a collar for myself, one of those studded collars, and the other day I got this black hair dye and I'm about to dye my hair black." 

Everyone stared at Kiba in complete shock as he continued listing all the things he's done to be emo. By the time he finished, an hour later, everyone was just gaping at him.

"What?"

"Kiba you are a lost cause," Taimi breathed, "You cannot be saved."

"Meh I don't care," Kiba said shrugging, "I can stop when I ready."

"No you can't," Taimi shook her head, "Once you're emo you can never go back."

"Well I guess I'll stay emo then. That's okay right?" 

"Yeah sure whatever." Taimi waved him off and Kiba sat down.

Taimi rubbed her eyes and sighed, "Alright little people your time is up, we'll meet up again some time during the week so get lost." The Gennin muttered under their breath as they stood walking out but a cry made them stop.

"Hey! HEY AREN'T YOU FORGETING SOMETHING!"

"Oh yeah, Shikamaru, have the symptoms started?"

"No but-"

"Then you are stuck here until they do. Don't worry I'll come everyday to check on you."

"Wait you mean you're not staying!"

"No sweetie I gotta go home and fed my cats, I have a lot of them so it will take a while. But don't worry I'll be back in say, oh 6 six hours."

"SIX HOURS!"

"Yeah it'll go by is a flash and I'll be back so just sit tight and I'll return." Taimi said pushing the others out the room. "See ya then!"

"NO DON'T LEAVE ME! HEY DO YOU HEAR ME COME BACK! INO! CHOJI!" Shikamaru shouts could be heard even after they left the Academy.

"Do you think we should go back Ino?" Choji asked as Shikamaru yelling grew faint.

"Nah Taimi said she'd go back I think we can trust her." Ino chirped.

The thing was, you couldn't trust her. She forgot about Shikamaru busying herself feeding her cats then playing with them. She didn't go back the next day or the day after that. Only when Ino and Choji came running to her yelling and carrying a half-1conscious Shikamaru did she remember. That and the fact Shikamaru's mother chased her through the village for nearly having him starve. Taimi never got over that and ducked everytime she thought she caught sight of Shikamaru's mother.

Sasuke took her advice and rapped his hair at night. To his surprise, it actually worked and now his hair has lost the duck butt in the back. The only downside was that no one seemed to recognize him. The first day of his missing spikes, Naruto and Sakura had no idea who he was as they arrived; he had his back facing them. Upon seeing, in their opinion, the unknown person they starting yelling and screaming for him to 'Get lost! This is our meeting place!'

Sasuke turned to snarl at them to shut up, when they realized who he was and Sakura started to apologize, Naruto just stood scratching his head in confusion bluntly proclaiming, "What the hell did you do to your hair?" Sakura yelled at him to apologize, while trying to punch his head in. Sasuke just walked off while Naruto whined to Sakura. For the rest of the day Sasuke wandered around in a bitter happy mood. You know, the emo happy.

As for Kiba, he continued being emo. He decided, since everyone now knew about his obsession, to wear his new collar the next day, he replaced his jacket with a black version, he painted his nails black, wore some wristbands he bought, after the therapy session, and he dyed his hair black, styling it by pulling some of his hair to the right wear it fell into his face, you know emo bangs. Hinata upon seeing him, almost didn't realize who he was until she saw Akamaru at his feet. She was so shocked seeing him she did the most un-Hinataish thing anyone could do. She screamed, "Kiba what the hell did you do to yourself!"

Kiba freaked out, "Hinata! Is this too much?" He turned in a circle so she could see and absentmindedly flicked his hair out his face as it tickled his nose, "I kinda thought so but I wasn't so sure. You know what, I'll go and take some of this off. I'll be back." And he ran off muttering before Hinata could placate him.

So in all, Taimi didn't do much to change the Gennin she was suppose to help. Shikamaru still ate honey, and Kiba was still emo, his new personality did nothing to help on the missions, Sasuke got over his problem, so she at lease did something to help. Tsunade wasn't happy and fired Taimi, the redhead just shrugged and went on with her life, hiding from Shikamaru's mother, who was still out for her blood, and avoiding Sakura and Ino, who were mad at her for making it harder to find Sasuke, the duck butt really made him stand out.

The End.

That's all minna-sama. Not much to say but review please. See ya next chapter!


	17. Naruto Talk Show

Okay here's the next chapter. This one hopefully will be funny, so let's spin the wheel! (Wheel appears with a poof, I spin it; lands on Talk Show) Cool here's a new one. Okay then let's get started.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but this chapter that's coming out my warped mind, not Naruto or this story.

Talking ""

Thinking ''

Somewhere in the middle of the Hidden Leaf Village, a building stood surround by a crowd, at the front stood two males trying to keep them under control.

"Maa, maa minna-san there's no need to be so impatient you'll get to see the show soon." The first drawled, obvious who that is.

"Yes! My rival is right you shall see the show on time within the next 10 minutes, if not I will do 500 sit-ups upside down!" Really do I have to say who that is? The crowd grumbles glaring at the duo guarding door into the studio. They were a little annoyed by the Jonnin having put up with them everytime they, the Gennin, had a show for fun when they didn't have any missions planed. The Gennin got bored too easily, it wasn't like anyone in the village was complaining; they liked to watch them scream, yell, shriek, and attempt to beat the hell out of one another. And speaking screaming the crowd was sure they could hear the faint sounds of someone screaming inside.

"Where is Ino?! She is supposed to be doing my makeup!" Sakura screamed, glaring at Tenten, who trying to calm her down.

"I dunno Sakura but she better hurry and get here." The weapon welding kunoichi muttered. Sakura started hissing death threats under her breath just as Ino went sashaying by. Sakura screamed again.

"INO-PIG!" The blond stopped tossing her hair.

"What billboard brow?"

"You're supposed to do my makeup! What the hell are you doing?!" Ino sneered lightly.

"What do you think? I'm doing Sasuke's makeup." Ino sighed dreamily, "He so handsome I don't see why he needs it." Sakura stomped towards her murder in her eyes. Tenten quickly took her by the arm and dragged her off to have Shikamaru do it instead; surprisingly he was good at fixing makeup. Ino snapped out of her fantasy and continued on; now that Sakura was having her makeup fixed by Shikamaru Ino could wander around watching as the stage was set up by Naruto Kiba and Neji.

"NO Naruto I said the table goes in the middle of the circle listen damnit." Neji snapped to the blond, Naruto pouted and huffed dragging the table, Neji hissed at him, "Don't do that! Pick it up!"

"Neji it's too heavy!" Naruto griped.

"Cry me a river, now pick it up. Kiba the chairs go around the table in a half-circle, the- No damnit Kiba don't drag-" Neji threw his hands up, "I give up you two never listen to me!"

"We are listening!"

"I said don't drag any of the stuff and you do it anyway. Are you hearing what I'm saying now!"

"But Neji this stuff is too heavy to carry." Kiba snapped, Neji sneered at them.

"You two are pathetic," he snapped and turned to Ino, "Where's Choji and Lee." She shrugged.

"I think I saw Choji at the snack table eating some ramen." Naruto's eyes lit up.

"We've got some ramen here? Yes!" He ran off and Neji started rubbing his temples muttering, 'Resist urge to kill moron.' Before walking off. Ino snickered and walked to the snack table, passing Hinata and Shino, they were muttering to each other holding clipboards. Pass Tenten, she was messing with the TV monitors. Pass Shikamaru, who had Sakura by her chin holding a brush in hand brushing it lightly over Sakura's cheeks. Ino eyes met Sakura's emerald orbs and they proceed to glare each down. Shikamaru looked up, rolled his eyes, and muttered something that sounded like troublesome, picked up a little brush, and ordered Sakura to close her eyes. Sakura sent Ino one last hate filled look before letting her eyes close. Ino stuck her tongue out at Sakura and hissed, "Billboard brow." Before she was out of ear shot she heard a faint snarled, "Ino-pig." She smirked, that never got old.

She passed Sasuke, the last person on her trip, she smiled at him brightly he glared and looked away, before finally making it to the snack table, where Choji and Naruto were both inhaling some ramen. She plucked the chopsticks out Choji's hands, ignoring his wail of unhappiness, and ordered him to go to Neji, who was sitting on the floor mediating, to calm his nerves. Choji muttered, griped, and moaned about still being hungry, Ino shoved to towards Neji snapping he'll never eat again if he didn't get to work. She spent the next few minutes looking for Lee, who she found somehow entangled in some wires before sending him to work too. She watched them finally set the stage up, to Neji's relief.

"Okay now we're ready to start the show." He said brightly, "Lee tell Kakashi-sensei and Gai-sensei they can let the audience in."

"Hai!" Lee ran off to do that, Neji turned to Hinata.

"Is Sasuke and Sakura ready?"

"Ye-" "MY HAIRPIN!" Hinata jumped at Sakura's shout. Neji slapped a hand to his forehead.

"What now Sakura?"

"My hairpin is gone!" the kunoichi shrieked,

"What the hell do you need a hairpin for?" Neji exploded, "You're hair is short!"

"My bangs grew out and now it hangs in my face. I need a hairpin to hold it back." Sakura huffed, Neji rubbed his temples again.

"Sakura we're about to start the show we don't have time to find you a hairpin." Sakura growled.

"Fine, but if I start sputtering and whatnot on camera it's your fault Neji." Sakura stomped towards the stage with Sasuke trailing behind. Neji walked to a corner, sat down, and started mediating again.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the middle of the village, in the only tower in the village a blond slept with her head on her desk snoring softly.

"Tsunade-sama! The show is starting! Tsunade-sama are you awake?" The door opened and a brunette poked her head in immediately spotting the blond sleeping. She huffed, pushing the door open walking in towards the blond's side, lifting a stack of paper dropping it on the desk with a SMACK. Tsunade shot up babbling sleepily swatting at a piece of paper stuck to her cheek.

"Shizune what the hell!"

"Tsunade-sama you were sleeping instead of working again." She huffed crossing her arms, "I came to tell you that the little talk show Neji came up with is on so we could watch it. But since you were sleeping again, you didn't do the paperwork you have piling up and I think that you should finish that first." Tsunade stared in disbelief as Shizune walked out.

"And don't think about sleeping again, I'll come check on you in a few minutes." She called over her shoulder. Tsunade's head dropped on the desk and she groaned.

In another room, Shizune sat down with Tonton next to her turning the TV on with the remote.

"Konichiwa minna-san. Welcome to another show with Sasuke and me. We're very glad to be broadcasting live from within the village with a live audience to boot! Isn't this great Sasuke?"

"I guess," the Uchiha shrugged, "Anyway today's we have a special guest arriving from the Village Hidden in the Sand. The Kazekage, Gaara, and his older brother and sister, Kankuro and Temari."

"Is it a good idea to have Gaara here Sasuke?" Sakura asked, Sasuke shrugged again.

"Sure it's fine, so long Naruto and him don't try and kill each other in their stupid sparring fights." Somewhere off camera you could hear Naruto yelling, "Baka yarou teme!" the audience snickered softly, causing Sasuke to smirk. "So Sakura how about you introduce our first guest."

"Hai, Sasuke. Our first guest is another Gennin from a team that graduated from the Academy before us. So let's welcome Rock Lee to the stage." The audience happily clapped; somewhere in the background you could hear Gai screaming something about Lee to him, 'Ganbare, show you youthful spirit, and the flame of youth.' And some others things you couldn't quite catch. Lee rushed onto the stage striking a pose and crying,

"Konichiwa youthful citizens of Konoha!" Off stage Gai burst into tears causing Kakashi to sigh. Lee sat in the chair next to Sakura grinning into the camera.

"Hello Sakura-san you looking quite beautiful today!" he chirped, to her. Sakura smiled, it looked a little forced, and said,

"Thank you Lee. You look nice as well." Lee swooned, Sasuke had to reframe from rolling his eyes, seriously this guy beat him back when they were taking the Chunnin exam how? Sakura started questioning Lee about his training with Gai-sensei, while off stage things wasn't so peachy.

Neji was pretty much foaming at the mouth as he stomped around snarling, "Where is Gaara!" Everyone steered clear of him as he went by. After Lee talked, he would go on next then Tenten, and finally Gaara with his siblings. And Lee turn to talk was ending very soon; they had only 30 minutes to broadcast after all.

"Naruto I thought you said he knew the way here?" he started towards the blond looking murderous. Naruto backed up.

"I did tell him, I told him three times cause he got confused the first time around. Don't blame me just cause he's not here yet."

"Go find him."

"Wha-" Neji walked towards Naruto his face suddenly blank, and the blond paled scrambling out the door only to run into a wall of sand. The sand flew back into Gaara's gourd and the redhead blinked staring at Naruto sprawled out on the ground.

"Naruto are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah I'm fine, hey Gaara when did you get a twin brother?" Gaara blinked slowly at that and pulled Naruto into the building by his collar with Temari and Kankuro behind snickering. Neji sighed.

"Oh thank god you're here," he muttered going to his corner to mediate. Gaara stared after him feeling more confused, Temari and Kankuro were having a hard time not trying to laugh out loud. The redhead shrugged it off and released Naruto moving to the snack table, scanned it contents, and frowned.

"Naruto." The blond shook his head trying to clear it.

"Yeah." Gaara turned to look at him, and Naruto froze remembering the time he saw such a blank expression on the redhead's face. Things did not turn out pretty.

"Where's my peanut butter cookie?" Naruto's eyes went wide. Wrong move. Gaara's eyes narrowed. "Well."

"U-um you see it was here when, I mean, the last time I saw it, it was on the table and well . . . I ate it." Gaara stared, Naruto paled again, Neji cracked his eyes open, having heard the conversation, there was a sinking feeling in his stomach and the redhead and blond stare at each other.

Then all hell broke loose.

Shizune smiled, the show was really going well, it you could block out Gai's cheering for Lee that is.

"Thank you, Lee, its sounds like being on your team is quite a thrill."

"Hai Sakura-san, you should come join us along with your team for training! It will be just as enjoyable!" Sakura's smiled looked forced again.

"Maybe one day, Lee" Lee looked ecstatic. Sasuke barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes.

"Alright then," he drawled, "Let's welcome our next guest, he's also apart of Lee's team and was-"

"WATCH OUT!" Right out of nowhere Naruto flew over the chairs, and Sasuke, Sakura, and Lee's head, rolling across the stage to a stop. Sakura was on her feet snarling, "NARUTO!" The blond rolled to a crouch and stared before tackling Sakura. Sand hit the floor causing a crater, and went after Naruto. Said person was already halfway across the stage screaming over his shoulder, 'I'm sorry I'm sorry!' Shizune blinked as the screen suddenly went to a commercial.

Back in the studio, Gaara was still trying to catch Naruto, for eating his cookie. Ignoring the blond's pleas of forgiveness, and Temari's yelling to, 'Let the cookie go!' made quite a mess trying to pin the blond down. Neji was beating his head against the wall crying and sobbing, "Why me, kami-sama, why me!" Gaara cornered the blond against the wall, smirking at the panicked expression on the Naruto's face as the sand closed in on him.

"Gaara I thought we were gonna be friends forever?! YOU'RE OFFING ME FOR A DAMN COOKIE!"

"Yes," the redhead said simply, "This is the end friend, for you anyway." And the sand completely enclosed Naruto. The blond shrieked.

With laughter?

Everyone blinked immediately recognizing Naruto's loud laugh, Neji stopped trying to give himself a concussion to stare, and if Gaara tickling Naruto wasn't enough, the redhead was smiling doing it too! Ino and Sakura swooned, Hinata and Tenten were a few seconds away from joining them, cause you know if Gaara smiles he's a total cutie. Temari shook her head walking to Gaara's side jabbing him in his head, any other time, head her would be rolling, but this time around Gaara just pouted.

"What Temari?"

"Will you give the guy a break?"

"He ate my cookie. He must pay the price." Temari rolled her eyes.

"Yeah sure, he has to pay the price by being tickled to death?"

"Yes," Temari stared.

"Gaara why don't you let Naruto buy you another cookie." Gaara blinked.

"I hadn't thought of that." Temari gave his head a fond pat.

"That's why I'm the smartest of the family, it comes with being a big sister." Gaara nodded absentmindedly agreeing with her, even though he had one thing in mind.

Cookies.

"Naruto will you go buy me another cookie?"

"If you stop tickling me, yes." Naruto gasped, Gaara grinned.

"Will you get it in five minutes?"

"Three and a half minutes if you stop now." Gaara's sand went back to his gourd and Naruto was gone the backdoor swaying in the wind. Everyone blinked at what just happened. Hinata started and grabbed Sasuke and Sakura pushing them on stage.

"You two get back on stage the commercial is almost over." She turned around and went to Neji's side. "Neji are you okay; you're about to go on next." Neji nodded rubbing his forehead. Hinata pushed him towards the stage, stopping short before they were on camera. "Okay you stand here and wait for Sakura to invite you on." She rushed off again yelling for everyone backstage to hush as the on air light lit up.

Shizune sighed as the last commercial finally ending and the talk show came back on. She made a funny noise staring at the demolished stage with Sasuke and Sakura sitting in the middle of it all.

"Sorry for the interruption minna-san, we had bit of a problem backstage." Sakura said, Sasuke snorted,

"Or as I like to say, 'Naruto's stupidity at its best.'" Sakura hit his arm lightly.

"Sasuke that's not nice." She scolded. Sasuke shrugged, not caring, Sakura sighed. "Anyway let's just get back to introducing our next guest. As Sasuke said before, he's apart of Lee's team and was last year's Number One Rookie in the Academy before Sasuke. He's considered to be the smartest Gennin is the village! A genius, a true prodigy!"

"Sakura will you stop praising him and just introduce him already!" Sasuke snapped, annoyed. Sakura grinned, making a flamboyant gesture, crying,

"Please welcome Neji Hyuuga!" Neji sauntered on stage smirking, brushing his hair back with a sweep of his hand sitting in the chair next to Lee, while the audience went nuts cheering loudly. And you could hear Gai yelling and cheering for Neji. Sasuke scowled at nothing while Sakura stared at Neji in admiration.

"Neji, as last year's Number One Rookie, you-" Shizune blinked as everything went dark.

Neji was on his feet shrieking into the darkness. "WHAT HAPPEN TO THE LIGHTS!"

"Sorry Neji, I think I pulled at the wrong cord."

"TENTEN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Neji exploded.

"I said I'm sorry," Tenten said rolling her eyes, "Geez Neji don't make your hair curl or anything."

Rapid footsteps. A soft squeak. Followed by a yelp.

"Are you Tenten?"

"Heh heh sorry. . . OW NEJI DON'T HIT ME OW THAT HURTS STOP I'M SORRY!"

"NEJI A YOUNG MAN SHOULD NEVER HIT A LADY, ESPECIALLY THEIR TEAMMATE!" More rapid footsteps, a squeal then loud crash. Neji, distracted by the crash, loosened his grip on Tenten. She scrambled away; Neji felt his way to a wall, and upon finding it, started beating his head against it. The lights came back on and everyone stared at Gai sprawled out on top of one of the cameras. Neji took one short look, and resumed his efforts to gain a concussion.

**Tsuzuku**

Poor Neji ne. Trying so hard to make this show a success. (grins) Not on my watch he won't. So minna-san review for kRaZy-chan and make her happy so she can make me happy, if she's happy then I'm happy. Next time I'll do a Stuck! Chapter. Where should the Naruto crew be stuck? Let me know in your review till then later!


	18. LPGW 2

**(A/N): Man! I bet no one is reading this anymore. But I decided to write again just to have some fun like back then. I also started taking an interest in fan fiction again since I decided to go back to the good old times. It's been three years so I hope my skills ain't rusty.**

**Okay! Time to spin that wheel! (-spins wheel but it falls off-)... Okay! While I order a new one...**

**I present DUN DUN I don't own naruto...DUUUNNNN! Love Potion Gone Wrong Part 2!**

**WARNING! OOC NESS, BAD GRAMMAR, AND CRACK PAIRINGS**

**inner or Narrator**

talking

_thoughts_

_"Oh god! What do I do? What do I do? WHAT DO I DO?" _Sakura screamed in her mind as she saw how the punch landed on some of her party goers. First, they were shocked, they tasted the contents, were relieved to find it was only punch, and looked up...

"GAI-SENSEI!" "LEE!" "GAI-SENSEI!" "LEE!"

The two green beasts of Konoha screamed as they hugged each other tightly while crying out tears.

"That looks fun..." Shino spoke to the two as he was intensely staring at Gai.

"YOUTHFUL GREETINGS SHINO!" the two shouted at the shinobi.

"Gai...may I also journey on this "youth" that you speak of with you?" Shino had asked as Gai started to have tears well up in his eyes.

"OF COURSE! ANYONE IS WELCOME TO JOIN US IN OUR YOUTH! Isn't that right Lee?" Gai had asked his most adoring student. "YES GAI-SENSEI!" Lee had replied as he saluted. Then Lee noticed his teacher's hand was placed on his shoulder.

"Lee...you are the most prominent student in my fine years of teaching. There is no doubt that youth burns in you like a fire in the heavy storm, deep in the woods. Which makes me never to doubt that it will burn in you forever. But now, I have Shino, a new student who needs me to educate him on youth. So, we must part ways. I'M SORRY LEE!" Gai cried as tears fell down his face but soon turned into his famous smile as he turned to Shino.

"SHINO!" "GAI-SENSEI!" "SHINO!" "GAI-SENSEI!" "SHINO! RUN INTO THE SUNSET WITH ME!" "YES GAI-SENSEI!" Shino had replied as he and Gai ran off into THEIR imaginary sunset. It was then that Lee recuperated from the shock.

"Gai-sensei?...GAI-SENSEI?" Lee cried out waiting for his beloved teacher to cry out "LEE!" but nothing...

"GAI-SENSEI! WAIT FOR ME!" Lee cried as he too ran into Shino's and Gai's imaginary sunset.

**Scene Change!**

"Come on dad! Shake a leg!" Hanabi snapped as she impatiently waited with her older sister Hinata for her father to catch up.

"Hanabi, what is the point of bringing father to this party?" Hinata had asked her younger and more mischievous sister.

"If I MUST explain, Hinata, I can't invite any friends over because DAD is there. He disapproves anyone I bring. So, if I can get him a girlfriend at this party, then he'll leave the house, giving me the chance to throw THE GREATEST KONOHA PARTY EVER!" Hanabi exclaimed as she clenched her fist and had fiery eyes for her determination.

"Hanabi, I don't feel comfortable with father being with another woman because I don't want another mother just yet." Hinata explained with discomfort. "Oh, you're just sour because you weren't invited to my party." Hanabi retorted as she scanned the party for any potential women.

"Hanabi, what is the point of me attending this social gathering?" Hiashi asked. Hanabi was soon to turn on some tears...

"Dad, I care for you so much! I can no longer see you alone at the house anymore! That's why I brought you here. In hopes you can find someone and take her out ALL NIGHT. Not just for you, but for me as well daddy!" Hanabi cried as she hugged Hiashi's clothing.

"I suppose I could start dating again..." Hiashi started as Hanabi's tears dried right up and she pulled out a small bottle. "GREAT! Thanks daddy! Okay, so I bought this cologne to help you attract the ladies. 'Seduction. Helps you get a hot, young thang.' Hanabi read as she poured the bottle on her father.

Minutes later, Hiashi shuddered as he just felt a hand on his _lower_ _backside_. "You sure do have a _firm posterior_. Do you work out Hiashi-_kun?_" The three Hyuugas turned to see Sasuke Uchiha. Both Hinata and Hanabi dropped their jaws in shock while Hiashi's face turned red in anger.

"Uchiha! For what right do you have to defile me in front of my daughters?" Hiashi roared. _'I knew the whole Uchiha family was dysfunctional. First the eldest son, now this...'_

"I'm sorry Hiashi-kun. When I first saw you, I couldn't help myself. You sure have gotten more handsome with age." Sasuke replied as he looked Hiashi up and down. Happy with what he saw. Hiashi's blood started to boil at the Uchiha pervert.

"Hinata! Hanabi! Let us leave this lecher!" Hiashi commanded as he turned and left the party.

Hinata: Oh...my...gosh...

Hanabi: I know. How can an old fart like dad get such an eye candy like Sasuke?

"Hanabi!" Hinata cried in disbelief that her sister was only concerned with the fact that Sasuke, a 10, was going after her father, who was maybe a 7.

**(A/N): ShinoGai or GaiShino? SasuHiashi or HiashiSasu? I absolutely love the Hanabi in my story! Poor Hinata for having to deal with a Hanabi of my creation. For the next chapter, I'm going to continue LPGW until I can get that wheel fixed! Next chapter, I reveal what's happening with the current pairings and then introduce some new ones!**


	19. Naruto Answering Machine 2

**(A/N): Okay, since I'm somewhat recalling my ideas for the future chapters, I have tried to take a whack at "Naruto Answering Machine 2!" And I recall that I wanted to do the Hyuugas so here it is! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the Hyuuga's answering machine.**

**Warning: This chapter can cause the following symptoms: hair loss, Armageddon, warts, crack addition, chocolate addition, nicotine cravings, weekend-itis, you to break out into song and dance, and a new story or chapter from VN2Lover. You've been warned...**

**THE HYUUGA'S ANSWERING MACHINE**

"Whatcha doing?" Hanabi had asked. (-Somewhere in the Tri-state Area, Isabella looks both ways to see who had stolen her catchphrase-) **(a/n: don't own Phineas and Ferb either)**

"Well, I am-" Neji began... "Bored already!" Hanabi interrupted as she went into the kitchen to pour herself a bowl of Ninja O's. Part of a good ninja's breakfast after a rough night of blowing poison darts into their enemy's necks.

"ANYWAYS! You know how the _Uchiha_ is lusting after Hinata-sama?" Neji asked as he pronounced the avenger's name icily.

"Nope." Hanabi answered blatantly with a mouth full of Ninja O's and milk.

"Read Wheel of Fortune by VN2Lover. Chapter 10." Neji informed.

"That fic sucks." Hanabi complained. **(A/N: Hey!)**

"Anyways, I have installed a chip in the phone. This chip is designed to recognize that pervert's voice and send an electric shock to the caller aka the Uchiha lecher." Neji explained.

"How much watts we talking about here?" Hanabi asked.

"IT'S OVER 9,000!"

"WHAT? 9,000?" Hanabi replied in an attempt to copy a famous DBZ quote. **(A/N: don't own that either)**

"Good morning Hanabi! Good morning Neji-niisan!" Hinata greeted as she approached her sister and cousin.

"Good morning Hinata-sama!" Neji answered back.

"Good morning Hinata. Hey Hinata! We need to go to the market today. They got a fresh shipment of Ninja O's and I just need the sai in order to complete the ninja weapons collection set. See? I've got the kunai, shuriken, senbon, and the nunchucks that glow in the dark! I just need that sai!" Hanabi growled in frustration.

"They're putting weapons into a kids' cereal box? Isn't that dangerous?" Hinata asked as she worried for some children's safety.

"Hinata. You can have FUN or you can have SAFETY, but you can't have both! Now vamoose!" Hanabi cried as she and her sister ventured off. "Neji-niisan, would you like to accompany us?" Hinata offered.

"No thank you Hinata-sama." Neji declined as Hinata nodded and left.

"THE FIRST BRANCH MEMBER I SEE IN THIS HOUSE HAS TO RUB MY BUNIONS! AND NOT THE ONES ON MY FEET! BYAKUGAN!" Hiashi yelled as Neji hightailed it out of there.

"WAIT FOR ME!"

**SCENE CHANGE**

"Did you really have to bite poor Naruto-kun's leg?" Hinata asked as Hanabi was tightly hugging **her precious.**

"Hey! His taste is still in my mouth so he's not the only victim in this!" Hanabi protested as she spat on the floor.

"Hm? It seems we have some messages from our absence." Neji noticed as his cousins surrounded him to listen to their messages.

-BEEP- **Neji:** Greetings. You have reached the Hyuuga household. I am Hyuuga Neji. **Hanabi**: AND I'M THE MOST AMAZING, GREATEST, AWESOMEST, SEXIEST KUNOICHI IN THE UNIVERSE: HYUUGA HANABI! **Hinata: **And I'm Hyuuga Hinata. **Neji**: We are not present as of this moment. Please leave a message after the beep and we will try to get back to you at our possible earliest convenience. **Hanabi**: That's it? Just: Leave a message and we'll get back to you? **Neji:** Yes. What's wrong with that? **Hinata:** Hanabi, please don't make a fuss, it's still recording. **Hanabi:** Then I guess it's up to me to take the boring out of this message and to stop Neji from making the people believe the Hyuugas are boring! YO! THIS IS HYUUGA HANABI IN THE HYUUGA HIZZOUSE! STANDING WITH ME ARE MY TWO BITCHES N-DAWG AND HINATA! WE AREN'T HERE BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH YOUR BITCHING! LEAVE A MESSAGE FOOL! **Neji/Hinata**: HANABI! WE CAN'T USE THAT! -BEEP-

Neji: Why haven't we changed that?

Hinata: Because Hanabi wouldn't let us...

Neji: Oh yeah..

-BEEP-July 25th 10:12 a.m. -BEEP- **Kiba**: Hinata? It's me, Kiba. Listen, I'm in my closet at home.. You have to come here...Shino, he's creeping around. The lights were knocked out, the doors are locked, no one else is here...I'm freaking out Hinata! Hinata, please pick up! **Shino:** HERE'S SHINO! **Kiba:** HOLY SH-BEEP-

"Oh no! I have to hurry! Please don't kill him yet Shino-kun!" Hinata prayed as she dashed towards her teammate's house.

"...how is it possible that Hinata keeps her sanity?" Hanabi asked.

"Same way I do when I deal with Gai-sensei and Lee: incense."

"INCEST?" Hanabi asked as she dropped her jaw. "INCENSE" Neji emphasized. "Get your mind out of the gutter." "NEVER! It's too much fun." Hanabi replied as she gave a sly grin.

-BEEP- July 25th 11:00 a.m. -BEEP- **Naruto:** HINATA! A CRAZY MINI NEJI BIT MY LEG AND STOLE MY BOX OF CEREAL! DATTEBAYO! I WANT THAT THING ARRESTED AND MY CEREAL BACK! DATTEBAYO! -BEEP-

-BEEP- MESSAGE DELETED -BEEP- "Hinata has too much stress already." Hanabi reasoned as she push the delete button.

-BEEP- July 25th 11:10 a.m. -BEEP- **Gai/Lee: **YOUTHFUL GREETINGS NEJI! -

-BEEP-MESSAGE DELETED -BEEP-

-BEEP-July 25th 12:00 p.m. -BEEP- **Sasuke:** Hinata? It's me, Sasuke. Listen I (BBBZZZZ!) AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! -BEEP-

"YES!" Neji cried in triumph, knowing that his device worked.

"HYUUGA 1, UCHIHA 0! GIVE ME FIVE!" Hanabi shouted as she raised her palm. Neji, being in a good mood, was about to slap it but Hanabi quickly retreated her hand, making her cousin get familiar with the floorboards.

"PSYCH!"

**(A/N): Oh Hanabi... Anyways, hope you guys liked it! R n R please! And it does not mean rest and relaxation!**


	20. Stuck! 5

**A/N: You know whats more amazing than the fact that I actually updated this fic after all these years? People actually remembering this fic and reviewing it. Not only that, but DF-chan drew this amazing picture of my story: "Stuck!" Here's the link:**

**Amazing right? Made me tear a little... :') So I just want to say thank you to all these amazing people:**

**(Blood-Pastel), (Acumichi), and (DF-chan). But now it's time I started doing my end of the bargain. By spinning...THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE! -(spins)- -(lands on "Stuck!")- We all knew this was coming...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Naruto. You will see what I mean later. -wink wink- -nudge nudge- -shove shove- -punch punch- -b*tch slap b*tch slap-**

**Warning: You should know by now that this is a crack fic...**

**Stuck! 5**

"Is it me, or did it feel like we've been fighting over this remote for three years?" Sakura asked as everyone nodded in agreement.

"What were we doing here in the first place?" Kiba asked.

"I'm pretty sure that if the authoress had updated sooner, we would have known." Temari retorted.

"Let's get out of here." Tenten said as the others agreed and filed out. Leaving the television on which, by the way wastes electricity and shouldn't be done. Not only that, our female heroines and single male hero at the moment had failed to notice their dear friends trapped in the accursed box of mindless entertainment...

"I thought that would never end. Naruto, where are we now? Because this place seems to resemble Konoha village. It seems I have blonde hair and blue eyes in this show..." Neno commented as he looked at his reflection in the flower shop's window.

"Ooohhhh. My head feels so dizzy from all that channel surfing." Nasuke commented as he rubbed his head to find that his hair was a dark blue instead of his usual blonde and it was more spikier in the back with some bangs in the front.

"Eh? It seems I became the character Sasuke from Naruto. Speaking of the cheeky bastard, where is Sasuke?" Nasuke asked as everyone looked around.

"Um, he is behind that barrel but he wishes not to come out." Ninata said with a blush to her face as she pointed behind the barrel.

"Hey Sasuke! Come- " "NO! I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN BE OUT IN DAYLIGHT! I COULD HANDLE THE GREEN DRESS BUT THIS IS THE FINAL STRAW!" Sasukura interrupted.

"Sasuke, did you become Sakura from Naruto? Do you have pink- "NARUTO! YOU FINISH THAT LINE AND IT WILL BE YOUR LAST!" Sasukura threatened when a grin spreaded across the boy's face along with a smirk from the new blond, blue eyed boy.

"Uchiha-san, please come out. I promise not to laugh. P-p-pink hair is nothing to be ashamed of." Ninata reasoned with the barrel.

"YOU MAY NOT LAUGH BUT I KNOW THOSE TWO BASTARDS BEHIND YOU WILL!" Sasukura argued.

"Okay Uchiha-san. I understand. Naruto-kun. Neji-niisan. Please do not laugh at Uchiha-san." Ninata ordered the two boys.

"Oh come on Hinata! Sasuke with pink hair? That's hilario-"

"Promise me Naruto-kun." Ninata sternly said as she looked down. Being unable to look at Nasuke in the eye without fainting.

"Oh alright! I promise Hinata-chan." Nasuke said.

"Thank you Naruto-kun. Neji-niisan?" Ninata pleaded to her cousin. "Of course." Neno replied as Ninata gave a warm smile to the two boys. "Uchiha-san. Please come out." **(A/N: of the closet. sorry just had to say it.)**

Sasukura slowly came out with his long pink hair, green eyes, and scowl on his face as Nasuke turned hot red trying hard NOT to laugh.

"It certainly suits you Uchiha." Neno smugly commented. "Shut it Hyuuga." Sasukura growled which only caused Neno to smirk more.

"Naruto. You better tell us how we can finish this episode quickly or else I will slowly rip off your flesh." Sasukura breathed dangerously as Nasuke took some deep breaths to try and calm himself down.

"Okay. Right now, we are in the television show called Naruto. A show about ninjas." Nasuke explained.

"Sounds idiotic." Neno commented.

"No, it is really popular right now. So, I'm Sasuke. The popular cold-hearted guy who all these girls love but he acts like a jerk to them all the time."

"Sounds like a real prick." Sasukura commented.

"Um, you guys, doesn't that sound like anyone in particular?" Ninata asked as the boys thought hard and nodded in disagreement.

"Doesn't ring a bell."

"Not really."

"Can't think of someone who is that much of a jerk."

"Later in the series, this Sasuke guy leaves his hometown **(A/N: This cannot be considered a spoiler, but just in case, sorry. ) **to gain power from a pedophile to defeat his older brother who killed his family." Nasuke finished.

"What kind of moron would go and do that? I mean, if all the girls like him, he must be good looking. So he is perfect eye candy for that pedophile." Sasukura explained.

"Um, are you guys REALLY sure this doesn't sound familiar?" Ninata asked.

"Hinata-sama, are you trying to hint at something?" Neno asked as Ninata sighed and nodded her head no in defeat.

"And Hinata, you're Naruto. The main character who is really annoying and I think has ADD and should take some ritalin. He always says "believe it. believe it!" I mean, what the HELL am I suppose to believe? Is he, like, trying to get me to join his religion? Like what? What do you WANT me to believe, Naruto? Believe in Christianity, Protestant, Buddhism, Hinduism, WHAT? WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?" Nasuke shouted into the air while on his knees.

"Um, Naruto-kun?" Ninata asked in concern.

"So yeah, just say "believe it" a lot." Nasuke told Ninata as he quickly composed himself as if nothing had happened.

"Sasuke, you're Sakura. You're the person everyone hates in this episode because you can't really fight. But don't worry, later on in the series, you progress into a real fighter and everyone likes you now." Nasuke explained.

"And Neji, you're Ino. You are Sakura's rival in love. So, both you and Sasuke are suppposed to fight over me." Nasuke explained as the two boys looked at him.

"You can have him." Sasukura offered Neno.

"You take him." Neno demanded.

"I'm allergic to morons!" Sasukura said.

"Well, I can hardly stand him!" Neno said as he raised his voice.

"EVERYTIME I SEE HIM, I DIE A LITTLE INSIDE!" Sasukura retorted.

"Hey! This isn't the kind of fighting over me I meant! Let's just go onto the next part!" Nasuke shouted which had the two quiet down. "Okay, in this next part of the episode, you and Neji will have to race to the school." Nasuke instructed.

"What for?" Sasukura asked.

"To get the chance of being able to sit next to me in class. Okay, on your marks, get set, GO!" Nasuke shouted at the two boys. As soon as the race started, the two boys started trying to push each other to the front. "ARGH! AT THIS RATE, WE'LL NEVER FINISH! SAY SOMETHING HINATA!" Nasuke yelled.

"Believe it."

-a few hours later-

"YOU WON UCHIHA!"

"NO, YOU WON HYUUGA!"

"YOU'RE FOOT WAS AT LEAST ONE CENTIMETER FARTHER THAN MINE!"

"AS IF!"

"So this was where you guys were." Nasuke commented as he noticed Gaashika and Cholee.

"...feeling...sleepy...staying awake...feels...troublesome...but...must..NOT......" Gaashika dosed off as his head hit his desk. Soon, a rumbling noise could be heard as Gaashika's inner demon came out. It destroyed the school as it screeched out and began to destroy the other buildings as well.

"I SHALL TRY TO STALL IT AS MUCH AS I CAN!" Cholee shouted as he ran to the beast.

"LEE CANNOT LAST LONG. WHAT THE HELL DO WE DO?" Sasukura asked as he tried to prepare a chidori only to find that his current body wasn't able to produce it.

"I THINK THE ONLY THING WE CAN DO IS FINISH THIS EPISODE SO GAARA WON'T BE ASLEEP!" Nasuke shouted as he watched the sand raccoon go on a "Godzilla" rampage.

"WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?" Neno shouted.

"WELL, AFTER THIS, THIS IS THE SCENE WHERE NARUTO AND SASUKE ACCIDENTLY KISS. WHICH MEANS, ME AND HINATA have...to...kiss." Nasuke finished as he fell into a silence as well as everyone else. Ninata blushed profusely and fainted. Neno started to seethed in rage.

"YOU MORONIC ANIMAL! TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE SITUATION SO YOU CAN KISS MY COUSIN WITH THOSE FILTHY LIPS OF YOURS!" Neno raged as he grabbed Nasuke's collar.

"I'M TELLING YOU! THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED! AND I WON'T EVEN KISS HINATA-CHAN ON THE LIPS! IT WILL BE ON THE FOREHEAD! I SWEAR!"

"GRRRR! FINE, BUT GO ANY FURTHER AND I WILL PERSONALLY DISPOSE OF YOU!" Neno threatened as he released Nasuke from his grip.

Nasuke quickly turned to face the sleeping beauty and gave a quick peck on the headband. "Now what?" Sasukura asked.

"Then, the girls, that's you two, beat up Naruto for stealing a kiss from me." Nasuke explained as the two boys looked at the unconcious girl. And the two boys shared the same thought.

It was one thing to fight a girl, especially if she was an enemy and was attacking. But it was an ENTIRELY different thing to not only beat up a girl, but an unconcious one who didn't deserve it. They were both heartless bastards but they weren't THAT heartless. As they were staring at Ninata, a screech from the demon brought them to reality and they knew what had to be done.

Sasukura slowly raised a hesitant fist and prayed that Ninata would be able to forgive him after this.

"WAIT! I CAN'T STAND THE THOUGHT! BEAT ME INSTEAD! I THINK IT SHOULD BE OKAY AS LONG AS SOMEONE GETS BEATEN BUT I KNOW THAT YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO HURT ME SINCE I AM YOUR FRIEND AND ALL BUT-" Nasuke was interrupted to a swift punch to his jaw. Followed by a kick, a jab, a upper hook, a punch to the stomach, a roundhouse kick, and etc. etc.

"Now what?" Neno asked the now bloody and bruised Nasuke as Ninata was able to come through.

"Now Hinata is suppose to transform into Sasuke and tell Sasuke how you would like to kiss his forehead." Nasuke explained.

"...what kind of plot is that?" Sasukura asked. "Now, Hinata, transform into Sasuke and repeat everything I say." Ninata nodded and did a transformation jutsu and turned to Sasukura.

"Sakura, your forehead is so wide and charming. It makes me want to kiss it." Nasuke whispered to Ninata.

"Sakura, your forehead is so wide and charming. It makes me want to kiss it."

"It makes me want to barf." Neno added.

"Now, Sasuke, you say, there's plenty of room up there. And Ninata, you clench your stomach and run." Nasuke instructed.

"There's plenty of room up there."

"Bye Naruto-kun! Bye Uchiha-san! Bye Neji-niisan!" Ninata shouted over her shoulder as she ran while holding her stomach.

"Now, I am suppose to go to Sasuke and tell him he's annoying in a cold tone." Nasuke explained as he put on a serious face and walked up to Sasukura. "You're annoying."

"So are you." Sasukura retorted.

"No you idiot! That's not how it goes! You're suppose to be sad and stuff!" Nasuke yelled.

"Boo. Hoo." Sasukura "cried". "Grrr. Now's not the time to worry about your awful acting. I'm going and bringing Hinata back. When she comes back, say you're sorry!" Nasuke yelled as he ran after Ninata.

"Sorry for what?" Sasukura asked as Ninata came upto him. "I don't know what I did but apparently I'm sorry for it."

"And you're SURE this isn't familiar to ANYONE?" Ninata cried out.

**THE END**

"OH! I just realized, we forgot to turn off the television." Tenten said as she and the others returned to Naruto's apartment.

Just when they were about to turn it off, Sakura quickly stopped her. "Wait! Look at the screen! Don't those characters look familiar?" Sakura asked as everyone looked to see their friends in different outfits, hair color, and eye color but no matter how you looked at it, you could tell it was them.

"Houston, we have a problem." said Kiba.

"It's always problems, problems, problems, with you guys. Don't you ever call me, just to invite me over for fun stuff?" Houston said as he stormed out. Exhausted from having everyone tell him their problems.

"Well, he's no help. Let's try getting our senseis." Temari suggested as everyone ran to the training spot, hoping that their teammates and senseis were still there after waiting for three years.

**(A/N): I can't believe I actually finished! I feel so triumphant yet sad because I was doing this instead of homework...Only reviews can make this worth it! R&R PLZ! Don't take my entire day in vain!**


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